the one with all the pictures of dogs

what up, what up, what upppppp. so those blogloving contests are going on (or at least they were going on like last week sometime when i was attempting to read blogs). they're the ones where you vote about best whatever blog (basically all sorts of categories that yours truly would absolutely never qualify for).  but to be frank - i'm a little offended that i wasn't nominated for categories that should exist.  ones like "least consistent blogger" and "laziest blogger" because let's be honest - we all know that i'm the best at both of those.
but that's neither here nor there. remember like a month ago when i posted about shitler shooting me with an air soft gun? oh?  you don't?  ok - refresh your memory and go here.
caught up?  good. because the night wasn't a total wash. after i recovered from the excruciating pain (i'm totally over-exaggerating about the excruciating pain. like i definitely don't recommend anyone letting their spouse shoot them in the foot with an air soft gun but i obviously recovered from the trauma in a timely manner).  back to the night not being a total wash.
because we had a dog photo shoot!   like any two super cool, married people in their thirties do on a friday night!

^^ that's one type of dog. but let's get to the cute ones. here's mac thinking he's being shipped out all by his lonesome and losing his shit.

but don't worry.

we'll ship you both out.

i'm totally kidding (kind of).

they're cutest brothers in town and everyone should know it.

i bet you're noticing that things look a bit different around these parts. like different in that there's a new post but also that this delicious blog got a face lift. a face lift inspired by the glorious green bay packers (because it's mother f'ing football season). you need a blog design?   you go see my girl - NATALIE.  click here.

the one where we went camping a month ago

oh hai there internet friends. it's me shannon; are you still there?
i really have to commend those that blog on a consistent basis (or let's be honest; even a semi-consistent basis) because i just don't know how they do it.  i have the means to blog consistently but lack the drive for any follow through.  because at the end of the day i'd rather plop my ass on the couch and sedate myself with reruns of trash television that i've already seen thirty-seven times than write blog posts.
but today i thought i would pull my head out of my ass and post about the time shitler and i went camping a month ago. so here we go.
we went someplace like 2 hours away.  for the life of me i can't remember what it was called but i do remember shitler telling me there were bluffs and we could hike.  but that never happened (obviously).
we bought a dutch oven but didn't even use it because PUDGY PIES. and naturally here's a picture of shitler enjoying a delicious breakfast burrito after i just mentioned pudgy pies. nothing in my life makes sense - i know.

and then naturally i took too many pictures of the muttz.

and then at one point shitler probably thought i was more nuts than usual because i came racing back from the bathroom to grab my camera and when he asked what i was doing i was all "taking pictures of a fairy's home!"  and he was like "what the fuck."  but i was obviously correct because HELLO LOOK AT THE FAIRY HOME BELOW.

and then we took the dogs to the beach.

where they were so handsomely adorable.

and then the muttz intently stared at shitler while he strolled up and down the beach by himself.

and then shitler did something he hasn't done in quite some time.

RUN.  baywatch style; down the beach.

and then naturally stopped to pose.  in the most tantalizing of ways. #thighsfordays

and then murphy lee got real pensive about the scenery.

and then turned around and couldn't contain his excitement about said scenery.

and then we left a day early because it wouldn't stop raining, and the dogs were soaking wet, and i was sick of having to sit at the picnic table underneath the canopy and stare at shitler while we did nothing.  and by nothing i mean i read my kindle and he bugged me to pay attention to him.

p.s. we also played beer bong.

dogs vs. assholes

how does that saying go? the one about your dog and being a person or something?

there.

that one.

it's weird.

as time goes by and things and people change you can't help but wonder if things were always a certain way or if it's just now that you're starting to notice it?

because it's not just about being the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

sometimes it's about wishing the people you surround yourself with are more like your dogs.

because really dogs are just super excited to see you.  and they want you to spoon them and give them treats and more snuggles and then also throw their sticks for them.  and isn't that basically what we all want out of life (minus the stick throwing; or not - depending on what you're into).  

sometimes shitler gives me a hard time because my favorite thing in the whole world is doing nothing by myself (and by extension my dogs because hello they love me).  but let's be honest - it's because my dogs don't make rude comments about my appearance or behaviors.  frankly if i'm suffering through a particularly bad hangover - mac just licks my face and lays next to me rather than judging and ridiculing me for my poor decision making the night before.  neither dog makes any off color comments about whether it looks like i've packed on a few pounds (they might be thinking it but thankfully they can't verbalize it and really they would just want to go for a walk for their own selfish reasons rather than thinking i needed to shed some LBs).  they don't rip on me for what i enjoy doing or whether or not i'm making the right life choices (at least what others deem are the right life choices).

it's a weird thing.  

it's weird because it's easy for me to champion other people.  and to be upset when others are treated like total shit.  but, i've found, that when it comes to me it's easier to just internalize it and then ruminate on it for weeks on end until i finally get over it and move on.  because really i just try to treat people the way that i would want to be treated.  and i don't think others would like to be told things that are intentionally hurtful.  so truly it's just confusing; that some people enjoy saying things about other individuals that they wouldn't want to hear about themselves.

i don't really have any way to wrap this up.

i like my dogs.  they're not assholes.

maybe that's the moral of the story.  don't be a fucking asshole.

a monday mish mash.

ahhh monday. we meet again. i'm feeling quite shaky, and no it's not alcohol related, but instead coffee related and that i've had too much and now i have the caffeine shakes.  someone make me a shirt that reads "on mondays we get the caffeine shakes because hello i think the reason is obvious."
anyway. just a few things. i'm going to go ahead and try to adhere to some sort of posting schedule.  i'm thinking mondays, wednesdays, and fridays.  like for consistency but also because i think maybe it will hold me accountable.  probably not - but let's give it a whirl.
this post is going to be a jumble of a lot of things. on friday i went to a happy hour with a friend.  or so we thought it would be happy hour.  as in - their website said it was happy hour but then we got there and the waiter was all "we don't do happy hour on fridays" and i was all "please hold."
and then showed him on my phone where it said on their current and up to date website that it read "happy hour, monday through friday, 4:30-6:30" and he just like uncomfortably shrugged his shoulders and i was like "well maybe you should tell someone that your website says that but in fact there's not happy hour."  and he just uncomfortably shrugged again and whatever we stayed for dinner anyway but definitely weren't pleased but then became please after we ate.  so basically we're infants.

mac has always been weird. and he's been doing a lot more of sleeping on his back lately.  i read somewhere that it means he's super comfortable.
i'm still not all that comfortable constantly seeing his balls but oh well.

out of town shitler finally came back in town.

i know i've said that i absolutely adore when he's gone but sometimes things are just easier when he's around.  like when your car won't start twice in one week and the outside light burns out again and it's negative kajillion outside and you just want to give up on life because it's not that you can't do anything of those on your own but you have a husband for a reason and my reasoning for having one is to do all the crap i don't like and also have relations with and he's useless to me when he's not around to render said services.

also i bought a new shower curtain.

i bought it hoping it would drive shitler batty and make him regret ever marrying me (i say that lovingly because i like to keep him on his toes) but instead he fucking loved it, deemed it awesome, and then brainstormed her name.  tabitha cartwright.

if you follow me on instagram - sorry for the repeat of pictures.

also - wednesday i think i'm going to talk about this weird book series that i think i hate myself for reading and it's not even that good but i can't stop.  so stay tuned.  and stay weird.

p.s. whatever picture sizing consistency. 

once upon a time we celebrated a birthday

you know what's great? knowing people for super long periods of time. like knowing shitler since i was fourteen?  fifteen?  i mean officially we met even younger on the swing sets but that's neither here nor there.  and even better than knowing shitler for that long is that i got to, by extension, know his family that long too.
so it's been, what feels like, forever and a day that i've known shitler's cousin, wendy. and it seems like we've been through it all too.  weddings, no carb diets, drinking benders, and that one time that shitler and i broke up for a bit in high school and i showed up to the movies wearing make up (which i never do) and shitler told wendy that i looked like a "slut" and then obviously wendy told me and to this day whenever i actually do wear make up wendy gleefully reminds me of the time that i wore make up to the movies and shitler called me a "slut."
but what's even better is that even if we weren't officially family i know we would obviously be the very best of friends.  i mean - the bitch owes me - since i introduced her to her husband.
so a couple weeks ago (and by couple of weeks i mean practically a month because i'm terrible at blogging) we traveled to shebagdad (sheboygan) to the blue harbor resort to celebrate wendalyn lou turning twenty-nine and there were plenty of shenanigans.  i have evidence.
first we stopped and marveled at the largest flagpole in the united states.

these two homeboys posed. one looks super thrilled.  like in a charles manson/serial killer sort of way.

once we were done being touristy and also patriotic we skipped straight to the shenanigans.

like weird posing and jumping on hotel beds.

we hit the indoor water park and played glow in the dark mini golf and over indulged in basically everything.  and then two men got ready for dinner and tried to behave like gentlemen.

p.s. my mom sewed me that bag above and shitler has commandeered it for his beard accessories. 

and i really only like this picture because of the creepy eyes in the background.

 and then shitler posed with his one boyfriend from college.

and then wendalyn lou finally blew out the candles on the birthday cake that shitler baked.

so that's it. a birthday celebration in all its glory.
p.s. here's a dog named uncle rico sitting in a cardboard box.  you're welcome.