Tuesday, May 15

Bacon Was The Only Redemptive Quality of My Weekend

i'd like to give you the sequence of my weekend events.  in both pictures and words (which is no different than any other time that i've done this).


a friend force-fed me jell-o shots that he was carrying around in a plastic bag.  then i made myself this:

[caption id="attachment_1836" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] bacon. brat.[/caption]

then the same friend tried to get me to do this:

i refused.  thank god.

but then shitler and i went to the bar.
where he attempted to teach me how to play pool.

but as you can see i was more concerned with trying to take some badass pictures.

but then, we saved the bar.
and by saved the bar i mean i happened to look at my phone and see that it was 2:15AM.
and that last call hadn't happened yet.
so we told the bartender.  

SEE - i can be somewhat unselfish.


naturally i felt like shit.  

so i remedied that by ordering this for breakfast:

i had a few bites but decided it was best to drink my weight in screwdrivers.

and then b bought these from the liquor store:

and c'mon - how do you say "no" to tiny servings of wine in pint glasses?  the answer?  you don't.

then i was drunk and i asked shitler to set up this loom thing so i could make a hat.  

so shitler did - but then he wouldn't give it back.

so i decided to take a short nap.  because at this point - i was drunk and it wasn't even dinner time yet.  but my nap lasted for 5 hours.  so when i woke up i just went back to sleep for the rest of the night.


i went to a baptism.  and felt like a bag of dicks.
because the weekend was over and i had nothing to show for it.  

not even a hat.  

because shitler only let me do like four rows out of the entire hat before he demanded it back.

[caption id="attachment_1842" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] murphy loves his new hat.[/caption]

i really need to get my shit together.


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