Wednesday, October 31

Textual Feeling: Fish Are Not Stupid

so i should probably stop drinking bottles of wine on tuesday nights pretending like it's the weekend and therefore okay.  because how i feel right now is completely not okay.

but this email exchange between me and shitler the other day made me laugh.  

shitler: i stopped home for a little bit before my meeting.  i took out your stupid fish and it's on the counter in a thing of water.
me: they aren't stupid.  don't talk about them like that.
shitler: it's really amazing how stupid they actually are.
me: it's amazing how stupid your face is, actually.
shitler: i hate you.
me: i hope you bowl like shit tonight.
shitler: really?  you wanna go there?  i hope you won't smell like shit tonight, but i know you will because you do every night.
me: blow me.

i swear we love each other.

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Tuesday, October 30

uncle shitler


other people's, of course.  like shitler's tiny new niece.  

emilia b.

just throwing up some gang signs

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Saturday, October 27

it's like i went trick or treating but didn't even have to leave my couch

in celebration of all things halloween i signed up with natalie at ohemgee for a swap.  
i was feeling exceptionally lazy this year and had no desire to dress up or create any costume.  not that i've really ever done much for any of my other costumes.

case in point these photos below:

but i digress.  
because this swap was less work than creating a damn costume and binge drinking.

i was paired up with andie from andie's traveling pants (who i ADORE) and she sent me the coolest shit ever.

WHAT - are you even serious?!

a lady after my own heart.
i'm going to eat so many brains this weekend.

i think tonight calls for lighting my ghost candles, cramming brain cupcakes down my throat, washing it down with vodka in my flask and some pez chasers, and decorating shitler in stickers.

it's gonna be a great night.
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Friday, October 26

A Dose of Something Insanely Adorable

i don't know about you but i could watch this video on a loop all damn day.

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High Five 4 Friday

and here we are again.  

glory be - you are truly a gift from the gods.  
so here we go - linking up with lauren at from my grey desk with the crap i'm high-fiving for the week.

1. i combined the two great loves of my life this week.  not wearing pants.  and pickles.

2. these two just sipping on some drinks.

3. the inspiration board at work is really taking off.  we've covered favorite drinks, favorite movies, favorite shows.  now favorite sayings.  can you guess which is mine?

4. oh!  totally made a wedding binder.  which doesn't have much in it.  because there isn't really anything planned. because i'm not sure where to start.  or what to do.  so right now it's just a binder.  
shitler made the cover art.  
i made the rear cover art.



5. forgot all about this gem of a video.  he works out.

p.s. if you have anything that you'd like me to put on the binder - by all means let me know.  
leave a comment, send an email, tweet me.  

better yet - SNAIL ME some shit.  i'd prefer stickers.  maybe some sort of patch.
this really isn't me begging.  but on the real - in the event you decide you'd like to mail me something you'll have to email me to get my address.  i'm not going to pretend to be super popular and assume some randoms would show up at my house - but weirder things have happened.

Thursday, October 25

Coffee Talk Installment 7

it's that time again.  the time to link up nat-girl again and answer her questions for coffee talk.
you'll have to excuse me for how lengthy this thing is.  but i can't help it.

music is everything.

Natalie Blair

1. what is in your playlist?
it depends on the playlist.  fucking duh.  but i have one called "all day, errrrr day" and it's currently a collection of twenty-some songs that i listen to on a loop.

as long as there is whiskey in the world (murder by death)
atomic dog (george clinton and the p-funk all=stars)
crescendolls (daft punk)
dixieland delight (alabama)
el fusilado (chumbawamba)
fast car (tracy chapman)
foxglove (murder by death)
higher love (steve winwood)
i just wanna love you (jay-z)
i love you always forever (donne lewis)
i touch myself (divinyls)
lucky man (emerson, lake, & palmer)
misty blue (dorothy moore)
poison & wine (the civil wars)
rich girl  (hall & oates)
soul survivor (young jeezy & akon)
you are the best thing (ray lamontagne)
home (edward sharpe & the magnetic zeroes)
hold on (wilson phillips)
this will be our year (the zombies)
a case of you (joni mitchell)
ten years gone (led zeppelin)
colours (grouplove)
thorn of crowns (echo & the bunnymen)

2. what is the funniest youtube video you always go to when you need a laugh?
uh ok.  there's two.  and i think they're at opposite ends of the spectrum.  and you're free to judge me for these.  because i judge myself.

3. favorite song in the whole wide world that you never get sick of and it's on repeat?
anything by fleetwood mac.  and i mean anything.
and lucky man - by emerson, lake & palmer.  the song is life-changing.

4. do you have any embarrassing songs/singers/bands that you like?
it's not that i'm embarrassed - but i will rock the shit out of any LFO song.  ever.  

oh!oh!oh! or o-town.  
liquid dreams for everyone!

5. what's that ONE song that ALWAYS makes you cry?
it doesn't necessarily make me cry but it definitely conjures up unwanted emotions.
blackbird by the beatles

6. what song have you recently heard that you can't seem to get out of your head?
i don't listen to the radio so i rarely hear anything new.  so basically it's songs that are already in my possession that i re-discover like six years after downloading.  this week it's been one headlight by the wallflowers, whatever you like by anya marina, and whip my hair by willow smith.

Wednesday, October 24

shit plant

back in high school i worked at the waste water treatment plant for a summer (and like one winter season).

in layman's terms - a shit plant. 

apparently the issue with my hometown is the hills.  so in order to get rid of the poop it had to be pumped from homes to various stations around town and then from the stations giant shit trucks would pick up the shit and bring it to the shit plant.  

i swear i'm not making this up.

it was a bad ass job.  because it consisted mainly of cutting grass, getting tan, and taking naps.  and the people i worked with were basically the best ever.

we called ourselves the general and his wet ones - being that it was just one dude surrounded by three chicks on a daily basis.

everyone got along famously and we spent our time getting into all sorts of mischief while we weren't working.  they included, but weren't limited to:

1. during winter shifts - not working till the sun came up.  then by the time the sun came up it was time for break.  then we took post-break breaks.
2. cultivating the name "the BK Broiler" for our manger.
3. posting pictures of high school girls in BK's office.
4. guessing what BK had for lunch every day.
5. skiing on the gravel while we held onto the back of the cushman.
6. looking for the three legged deer.
7. dumpster diving at the incinerator on thursdays after dump day on wednesday.
8. sitting in the BK's office listening to steve czaban until we were told to get to work.
9. sitting in the truck talking about dicks while it rained.
10. learning about n.a.r.b.s. - which for those that don't know stands for "no apparent reason boner."
11. driving in a continuous loop around the plant in an effort to look busy.
12. walking to the garage at 6AM while drinking coffee and watching gary laugh manically while spraying the hose by the septic tank drop off.
13. smelling the septic tank drop off.
14. giving people tours of the preliminary treatment building (the smell, the dumpster full of rice and corn, and the mechanical asshole).
15. having contests to see who could go the longest without working.  record was 40 hours - FYI.
16. spraying a 6 foot tall pricker weed with an entire canister of weed killer and then driving by it on a daily basis and giving it the middle finger till it eventually keeled over and died.
17. arguing over who go to cut the best stations outside of the plant so we could nap uninterrupted by management.
18. taking extended lunch breaks so that we could make it to the gyro place and back.
19. sitting four deep in the front of a pick up truck while one person drove, two people sat in the middle doing nothing, and shot gun doing a drive by "spreading of grass seed."
20. the director of the plant telling us to spread dirt and then catching us in the sludge building dumping it out.  when he asked us what we were doing we responded with "we're not doing this anymore."

there were special days where we did arts and crafts and decorated the general's work gloves.

and sometimes we just stood around fucking grabbing our crotches and acting gangster.

i'm actually not quite sure where i was going with this post.
reminiscing about the good old days, perhaps?  
the days where i could literally do next to nothing for an entire work day and get away with it?  
or the days where i could do the most ridiculous, meaningless shit and also get away with it?

did you  have a bad ass summer job?  
do you wish you could go back?

oh well.  
you can't.
being a grown up sucks.

Tuesday, October 23

mexico part 2

this is the last of it.
i kind of promise.

p.s. if you'd like to have shitler as your flower girl in any upcoming nuptials please contact me.  
i schedule all of his flower girl appearances.

Friday, October 19

High Five 4 Friday

OMGOMGOMGOMG - it's friday.  high five everyone you see.
and in the meantime, i'll link up with lauren at from my grey desk.

1.  whatever jordy.  i'm not speaking to you OR the thirty-nine points on my bench (just kidding.  i'm playing you this week.  in which case means you'll do nothing and fuck me big time again).

2. i've been listening to this on a loop.  just resurrecting my middle school roots ya'll.

3. this girl and her techy ways.  using that iPad - like a boss.

4. i've decided that every thursday should be declared "chili dog thursday."  my will be done.

5. inspiration board at work this week.  totally normal.

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