These Aren't Even My Thoughts. But They're Hilarious.

so i spend an unnatural amount of time on thought catalog.

please enjoy with me.

exit interview questions.  specifically numbers 3, 4, 7, 15, 16, 18, 19, & 24

tips if the apocalypse is this year.  specifically numbers 2, 6, 8, 12 & 15

things we put in our mouths. all of them.  but number 3 especially because they give me stomach pains.  but i still eat them.  because i'm an asshole.

doing whatever the hell you want. this entire thing.  because i'm laughing so uncontrollably i'm practically choking.

18 things.  specifically numbers 1, 3, 10, & 15.

inappropriate ways to end conversations. everything.

lessons before you settle down.  this whole fucking thing.

Textual Feeling: One Life To Live

if there's one person that hates YOLO it's b.  which i think in turn means he hates living which in turn means i think he should be monitored because it might mean he's a danger to both himself and others.
it probably doesn't help when i won't stop YOLO'ing at him.
me: YOLO.
b: unless you're charlie then YOLNT.
me: YOLO!!!!
b: i'm going to punch you in the mouth.
me: i'm just trying to get my YOLO on.
b: me too.  that's why i'm going to punch you in the mouth.
me: YOLO.  i'm going to drink more.  the abuse won't be so bad when i'm thoroughly intoxicated.
b: i will make it count.
me: YOLO SWIMMING.
b: i am no longer responding to messages involving YOLO.
me: YOLO L Word?
b: what about L Word?
and then i sent him a picture of this:

and he hasn't even responded.  so i think that means he's punishing me.  or attempting to teach me a lesson.  which we all know doesn't work.  just ask my bank account.  or vodka.
so seriously - wtf, b?
we should eat this, because hello it's a bacon sundae and YOLO.