Sunday, April 15

I'd Be a Terrible Fucking Doctor

there's a litany of reasons why i'm not a doctor.  overall laziness probably being the top reason.  but i would go with bad decision making as a close second.  even worse - decision making under pressure.  or self-diagnosing and self-medicating.


case in point - when b suggested that i add dayquil to my wine.  i immediately thought {2 BIRDS!} and began the creation process.







and in case you're wondering - it's fucking terrible.  syrupy, like when you put your vodka in the freezer and then pull it out because you want to take a shot but you can barely choke it down because the freezing temperature has made it disgusting.  ack.

but here's my problem.  i love deals.  who doesn't?  you're probably thinking - what's the problem...a deal?  there's no problem with a deal.  well yes there is.

case in point.  dinner with shitler.  at a local watering hole we discovered that they have $1 tacos.  so having been battling this motherfucker of a cold all week i wholeheartedly agree and thought i deserved a goddamn taco (and also because i physically cannot refuse a taco). 

but i was good.  i had water and two tacos.  until the bastard of a bartender informs us that on thursdays from 7-12, ladies drink taps and rails for $6.  all fucking bets were off after that.  the bartender was all "if you only have two it practically pays for itself."  and i was all, "fuck you, i'm going to have enough to make them 50 cent drinks.  keep 'em coming!"

[caption id="attachment_1551" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="i'm on the right. obviously. just call me robin williams."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1552" align="aligncenter" width="224" caption="so. many. limes."][/caption]

so whatever.  i'm weak.  and still sick.  sicker than usual.

and it's taken me like three hours to compile this.  because gnoemo and juliet is on and it might be the most adorable thing i have ever seen.


2 comments

  1. Quit being a pussy and do what I do. NyQuil at night, DayQuil and Claritin-D (the stuff you make meth with) in the morning, and a steady dose of Mucinex. You will spend a majority of your day in a medically induced haze, but who hates that? Plus it's like your head is filled with helium, instead of the hot air yours is normally filled with.

    ReplyDelete

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