3// am i the only person in the whole entire world that's mostly excited that i got married because it means lower car insurance? i swearsies that every girl i see is like ZOMG so excited for the pictures and shit but i'm all LOWER MY CAR INSURANCE RATES BITCH.
4// my work just announced they're doing a company wide picnic at the zoo. and i'm freaking pumped. i'm almost more pumped to be able to tell shitler that one of his lifelong goals will finally come to fruition (keep in my mind i was just informed of said goal this past monday). what is it you ask? getting annihilated wasted at the zoo. and no - it's not like we need to wait until a company wide zoo function but hopefully work will just foot the bill for all the expensive beer shitler will cram down his gullet. also - i got drunk at the zoo once upon time. but i was responsible and smuggled my own vodka in and then mixed it into my zoo slushie in a bathroom stall. LIKE AN ADULT.
5// so it was my birthday this week. and no i'm not one of those that makes a giant deal out of it because there is literally no point in celebrating something that literally happens year after year after year and just propels you further towards old age and inevitable death. so since i don't care about birthdays much at all i don't ever expect presents. but then sometimes someone hands you two jars of pickles and you thank the heavens that you're one year older because it means someone gave you pickles as presents. shitler said he bought me something. and he also said that he ordered it like two days before my actual birthday. and then he also assured me i would really like it and that it would be here sometime this week. so then i got really excited and all GIMME GIMME GIMME. but then he checked the order last night and it said not to expect said shipment until the week of june 9th. WOMP WOMP WOMP. also - this fucking asshole didn't get my anything. which is rude. see also: QUIT GAZING AT ME YOU GAZER.
6// lastly - i don't know where on the internet i found this picture but i need to know who this cat is and what level of ping pong playing skills he's working with. because i will challenge him.
and now i must take leave of this space. but first i leave you with this song. because i wish i was back on boat belting it at the top of my lungs (also linking up with whitney).