Friday, May 30

lizards, and cats, and dogs - oh my

heyo.  i'm sure everyone in all the land is happy that it's finally the weekend.  i'm less than impressed.  only because i work the whole weekend and that's literally nothing to be jazzed about.  but things have been bouncing around in my brain and there's really no rhyme or reason to any of them so it's kind of like "hi i'm just going to dump these thoughts here and make you think all my thoughts with me."

1// sometimes when i look at my desk at work and it's littered in papers that i may or may not have put there/know what they are/don't know where to start it kind of makes me want to just "file" them in the trusty recycling bin.  like a swooping motion of grand proportions where i'll be satisfied that i will never have to deal with the repercussions of my alternate way of filing.  and by repercussions i mean furious customers and/or getting fired.
2//  speaking of work.  it's been really hard not to respond to every single email i've received this week with the following picture:

3//  am i the only person in the whole entire world that's mostly excited that i got married because it means lower car insurance?  i swearsies that every girl i see is like ZOMG so excited for the pictures and shit but i'm all LOWER MY CAR INSURANCE RATES BITCH.

4// my work just announced they're doing a company wide picnic at the zoo.  and i'm freaking pumped.  i'm almost more pumped to be able to tell shitler that one of his lifelong goals will finally come to fruition (keep in my mind i was just informed of said goal this past monday).  what is it you ask?  getting annihilated wasted at the zoo.  and no - it's not like we need to wait until a company wide zoo function but hopefully work will just foot the bill for all the expensive beer shitler will cram down his gullet.  also - i got drunk at the zoo once upon time.   but i was responsible and smuggled my own vodka in and then mixed it into my zoo slushie in a bathroom stall.  LIKE AN ADULT.

5// so it was my birthday this week.  and no i'm not one of those that makes a giant deal out of it because there is literally no point in celebrating something that literally happens year after year after year and just propels you further towards old age and inevitable death.  so since i don't care about birthdays much at all i don't ever expect presents.  but then sometimes someone hands you two jars of pickles and you thank the heavens that you're one year older because it means someone gave you pickles as presents.  shitler said he bought me something.  and he also said that he ordered it like two days before my actual birthday.  and then he also assured me i would really like it and that it would be here sometime this week.  so then i got really excited and all GIMME GIMME GIMME.  but then he checked the order last night and it said not to expect said shipment until the week of june 9th.  WOMP WOMP WOMP.  also - this fucking asshole didn't get my anything.  which is rude.  see also: QUIT GAZING AT ME YOU GAZER.

6// lastly - i don't know where on the internet i found this picture but i need to know who this cat is and what level of ping pong playing skills he's working with.  because i will challenge him.

and now i must take leave of this space.  but first i leave you with this song.  because i wish i was back on boat belting it at the top of my lungs (also linking up with whitney).

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  1. Lower car insurance? Shit, do I have to report getting married to them for this? I've been slacking GIVE ME ALL THE DISCOUNTS.

  2. your dog is so cute! australian shepherd?

  3. That lizard cracks me up. I had two leopard geckos as a kid named #1 and #2... Number #1 was the biggest asshole!!!!

  4. That lizard look up to no good. How dare asshole not get you anything and after all you do for it/him.

  5. that fucking lizard dude. he's plotting world domination and I want in on his secrets

  6. I may literally only be getting married for the insurance discounts and the trip to Mexico.

  7. Hey. Our car insurance went down too!!!! HIGH 5 FOR BEING MARRIED!


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