Friday, October 31

adult things are weird

you know what's weird?
the general progression of life.  
stop me if you've heard this before but i can't be alone in thinking this.
like when did we all of the sudden become adults?  and start doing adult things, no less? 
like getting married, having a car payment, buying a house, having babies, etc. etc. etc.

i can't be the only one that logs onto facebook every now and again and is confused when they see a person they went to high school with and they've just popped out a child and then you're all "welp, there's another teen mom."  and then reality comes crashing down around you and you're like "  she's not a teen, she's turning thirty this year."  and then you're all "WHERE DID MY LIFE GO?"  because i know that it's totally normal for people to be having babies and doing other adult things but apparently, for me, it's difficult for my brain to process.

but the point to this is is that it's halloween.
and halloween is the day that my best friend in the whole entire world was born.
and it's weird because it's the first time like ever in the history of all of our halloweens spent together that we will not be black out drunk together.  and it won't be for lack of trying (at least not on my part).  but she's doing the grown up thing where there's currently a womb creature wriggling around inside of her. 

the days of old were most excellent.  the days of party refs, dorothy, that red sox fan steve bartman, a devil in a blue dress, a construction worker, and a chicken are over.

but really this weekend is minneapolis time.
thank goodness gracious because that means nikki time and also matt's bar because jucy lucys and beer for me but just a jucy lucy for nikki.  and really all i want to do for halloween is lay on the couch in our sweatpants while we wait for the pumpkin seeds to bake and watch hocus pocus.  because an exact replica of sophomore year halloween in college when we weren't real adults would be my dream.  because now we're old and married (and only half of us is knocked up) and it's too much work to go to madison for halloween and avoid getting trampled and tear gassed like we did that one year.  instead we will just do things like nap, get married, and be pregnant (not me, her).

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  1. hi. can i come over and sit on your couch and wait for the pumpkin seeds with you and scream profanities about how i actually TRIED to be halloweenie this year and no one appreciates it or gets it and everyone thinks i'm stupid and i'm probably going to stab them all?


    1. let's plan a fantastical halloween for next.
      no losers allowed.

  2. Dude. Trying to have a Halloween party as an adult is way harder than when I was in high school cause apparently people can't come due to those little creatures covered in dirt. Babies ruin lives.

  3. Yep, this. All of this. How dare people my own age think they are old enough for adulting and reproducing? It freaks me out. I just KNOW my first child will announce itself by way of "Holy crap NO FREAKING WAY" and I'm just not ready for that.

    1. it's truly mind boggling.
      and apparently a testament to the fact that i'm clearly not ready for a womb creature of my own.

  4. No I'm with you that it's totally weird. I still feel like I'm 18 and that people getting married/producing is more the exception than the norm. My reality comes crashing down on a regular basis. curse you Facebook!

  5. JUST WAIT. Once you have a baby who keeps getting older and bigger at alarming speeds, you realize you're also getting older at alarming speeds and then you need to drink more wine to calm yourself down about the whole process. Not that the wine is a bad thing.

  6. I am also currently nourishing a womb creature and stayed at home on Halloween. But if I had gone out, I would have been a pregnant unicorn (seen here:

  7. I never realized how many of my friends had kids until this Halloween....when they put away their slutty costumes and TOOK THEIR KIDS TRICK OR TREATING.

  8. goodbye dressing up as redneck knocked up Britney, hello to actually being kncoked up and proud of it and painting a pumpkin on your preggo belly. Who are we? I can't remember how many times I've said that to my friends in the past year. But I don't think any of us have been any happier (cue eye rolls)


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