the one where we went camping a month ago

oh hai there internet friends. it's me shannon; are you still there?
i really have to commend those that blog on a consistent basis (or let's be honest; even a semi-consistent basis) because i just don't know how they do it.  i have the means to blog consistently but lack the drive for any follow through.  because at the end of the day i'd rather plop my ass on the couch and sedate myself with reruns of trash television that i've already seen thirty-seven times than write blog posts.
but today i thought i would pull my head out of my ass and post about the time shitler and i went camping a month ago. so here we go.
we went someplace like 2 hours away.  for the life of me i can't remember what it was called but i do remember shitler telling me there were bluffs and we could hike.  but that never happened (obviously).
we bought a dutch oven but didn't even use it because PUDGY PIES. and naturally here's a picture of shitler enjoying a delicious breakfast burrito after i just mentioned pudgy pies. nothing in my life makes sense - i know.

and then naturally i took too many pictures of the muttz.

and then at one point shitler probably thought i was more nuts than usual because i came racing back from the bathroom to grab my camera and when he asked what i was doing i was all "taking pictures of a fairy's home!"  and he was like "what the fuck."  but i was obviously correct because HELLO LOOK AT THE FAIRY HOME BELOW.

and then we took the dogs to the beach.

where they were so handsomely adorable.

and then the muttz intently stared at shitler while he strolled up and down the beach by himself.

and then shitler did something he hasn't done in quite some time.

RUN.  baywatch style; down the beach.

and then naturally stopped to pose.  in the most tantalizing of ways. #thighsfordays

and then murphy lee got real pensive about the scenery.

and then turned around and couldn't contain his excitement about said scenery.

and then we left a day early because it wouldn't stop raining, and the dogs were soaking wet, and i was sick of having to sit at the picnic table underneath the canopy and stare at shitler while we did nothing.  and by nothing i mean i read my kindle and he bugged me to pay attention to him.

p.s. we also played beer bong.

the dong bong giveth

tiger tiger woods ya'll.
i can't help but hate today.  not just because it's monday but also because this weekend has left me feeling like a piece of bloated crap and also my chest feels like a large person is sitting on it and therefore making it difficult to breathe.  so all in all i just want to crawl under my desk like a cat and have someone pet me.  let me know if you're interested in filling that position and we can get the necessary paperwork started.
my weekend was magical.  why you ask? because it was the fifth anniversary of our camping extravaganza at pinewoods. and there is nothing in the world i love more than camping.
here are eight hundred reasons i love camping:
1. everything in pudgy pie form.  if you don't know what a pudgy pie is you can kindly GTFO of my blog space.
2. drinking and driving isn't an issue.  you can just park your ass in your chair in front of the fire, drink to your heart's content, and then stumble to your tent.
3. showering isn't an option.  you're dirty, your friends are dirty, everything's dirty.  and all is right in the world.
that's actually all i have.  three whole reasons i love camping.  semi-pitiful.  but oh well. basically pinewoods  is our yearly excuse to get together and behave like degenerate pieces of shit. we play games like shot roulette, bring along framed pictures of jack bauer, and burn things. and apparently i don't wear pants.

FYI - shot roulette is exactly what you think it is.  not all those shot glasses are filled with alcohol but whatever your spin lands on you must ingest.

if you camp with us this is what your weekend would look like.

shitler could totally be a model, yeah? and the dong bong makes its presence known.
sunday was full of football, recovery, and loss. as in the packers lost, i most likely lost in my fantasy football leagues, and the only thing that kept me afloat was juliette drawing eyebrows on pictures of mac-dizzle and sending them to me.
also shitler's heart hurts.  someone console him.

so that's that.  a weekend full of a lot of terribly inappropriate things. can someone blog-related come live with me so i don't have to endure these things alone?

it's only a matter of time before shitler destroys me

i'll get to that title.

but in the meantime. eight hours. that's the only thing that stands between me and getting my camp on. it's that time of the year again - our 5th annual pinewoods camping celebration.  where we destroy the natural landscape of our camp site, drink our faces off, and generally behave like animals. here's a quick collage of years past to give you a general idea.

and yes - that's shitler with a chain saw.  and also the bonging of the boxed wine.

so ya - work can blow me because it's the very last thing in the world i want to even think about right now.

i say that not only because of the camping but also because i did alcohol shopping last night and it's all still in the back of my truck so it's hard to overcome the temptation that i know is waiting for me out in the parking lot.

so.close.

i bet the entire blog universe is going to be dominated by all things football and i'm going to mention it below so feel free to click out now but to warn you i have a delightful meme at the very end of this post so you might just want to buck up, endure the football talk, and then get rewarded with the meme.

fantasy football + NFL redzone = one happy kitten.  and that kitten is me.  and also shitler.

basically you don't bother the shitler household on a sunday.  like you can come over and drink with us but like shut your goddamn mouth and don't even ask to change the channel to watch some other game in its entirety you idiot.  #QUADBOX and also i love scott hanson.  but ok the point of this is that shitler and i participate in a fantasy league together every year with a bunch of our other degenerate friends called the "pool of tears" and basically shitler has won every single year.  he's a fantasy monster and i think if it were possible to actually live off of fantasy football related things he would.  i'm not even kidding.  he scooped up sproles before anyone actually knew who the fuck sproles was and he laughs his way to the championship each year because he just knows his shit and whenever the week comes that i have to play i pray to the fantasy football gods that his first pick quarterback is on a bye and he won't spank me too much.

this is what shitler did to his opponent last night (and thankfully it wasn't me).

are.you.kidding.me. and naturally since it's friday and i'm actually posting i'm going to link up with whit. and this song because it's our camping theme song because we sing it like a bunch of drunk hyenas and be all "WE 'GON RUN PINEWOODS TONIGHT."

AND i'm also going to do the damn thing with sarah because i mentioned fantasy football and how i am a fan of it so basically that qualifies.
AND IT'S MEME TIME.

catch you on the flip.  ghost ride the whip.

drinking with a side of camping: part two

day one, night two.
bong more alcohol.
because sleep is for pussies.

then burn a bunch of shit.

somewhere in the middle of all of this we eat something.  

but then back to bonging.

then find our hats.

oh, fuck the hats.  more bonging.

feel like fucking champions.

worship a false idol.

then someone does the obligatory puking.
then everyone does the passing out.
then everyone hates their lives the next morning.

then we get excited for 2K13.

drinking with a side of camping: part uno (which is spanish for the number one)

i'm going to tell you a story.
about camping.  
we do it every year.  and we all get super excited about it and then we drink an unhealthy amount and hate everyone in the world by sunday (which i suppose is par for the course on like every weekend).  so i thought maybe you would want to see some pictures.  because they're terribly awesome.  
but there are a lot.  
so there might be like two installments.  
or maybe three.  
i'm not sure.

night one.
set up camp.  
which includes unloading all the useless crap someone bought from goodwill.

then proceed to party with some ridiculous hats someone also bought from goodwill.

then rejoice because someone brought ninety hot dogs.

then celebrate the hot dogs with bonging beer and boxed wines.

then do unspeakable things to the barbies with the hot dogs.

then laugh about it.

then continue celebrating.

my liver just cramped up reliving this.