Monday, September 9

the dong bong giveth

tiger tiger woods ya'll.

i can't help but hate today.  not just because it's monday but also because this weekend has left me feeling like a piece of bloated crap and also my chest feels like a large person is sitting on it and therefore making it difficult to breathe.  so all in all i just want to crawl under my desk like a cat and have someone pet me.  let me know if you're interested in filling that position and we can get the necessary paperwork started.

my weekend was magical.  why you ask?
because it was the fifth anniversary of our camping extravaganza at pinewoods.
and there is nothing in the world i love more than camping.

here are eight hundred reasons i love camping:

1. everything in pudgy pie form.  if you don't know what a pudgy pie is you can kindly GTFO of my blog space.

2. drinking and driving isn't an issue.  you can just park your ass in your chair in front of the fire, drink to your heart's content, and then stumble to your tent.

3. showering isn't an option.  you're dirty, your friends are dirty, everything's dirty.  and all is right in the world.

that's actually all i have.  three whole reasons i love camping.  semi-pitiful.  but oh well.
basically pinewoods  is our yearly excuse to get together and behave like degenerate pieces of shit.
we play games like shot roulette, bring along framed pictures of jack bauer, and burn things.
and apparently i don't wear pants.

FYI - shot roulette is exactly what you think it is.  not all those shot glasses are filled with alcohol but whatever your spin lands on you must ingest.
if you camp with us this is what your weekend would look like.

shitler could totally be a model, yeah?
and the dong bong makes its presence known.

sunday was full of football, recovery, and loss.
as in the packers lost, i most likely lost in my fantasy football leagues, and the only thing that kept me afloat was juliette drawing eyebrows on pictures of mac-dizzle and sending them to me.

also shitler's heart hurts.  someone console him.

so that's that.  a weekend full of a lot of terribly inappropriate things.
can someone blog-related come live with me so i don't have to endure these things alone?

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  1. he could totally be a model.

  2. The dong bong always steals the show. Always.

  3. The Dong Bong is the best!! Love camping for the non-showering stumbling into the tent kinda fun! :)

  4. Haha the dong bong is pretty awesome. Eyebrows on dogs creep me out. One time my husband drew some on our Puggle and I about lost my shit.

  5. OMGGGG The Dong Bong!!! That's fucking hilarious!!!!!

  6. I'll fill that position considering I'm in need of a new location. you shall entertain me.

  7. the guy in the Milwaukee tee looks like jerry Seinfeld and i want to have shitler's hair babies . that is all.

  8. DONG BONG OMG WTF I wish I knew more internet lingo. I've always wanted to play shot roulette but I'm a little wimp.

  9. Ahahaha this post is amazingly funny!
    I can totally relate to how you feel right now BUT it seems like you had a freakin awesome time!

    Dong Bong? lmao!
    and oh yes he is totally a model!

    1. HA. thanks lady! the dong bong is just mainly the center of attention. at all times. but really how can it not be?

  10. I don't know what's sexier, the dong bong or Shitler.

  11. i will pet you. you can fax the papers at bills work. ill text you the number.


  13. When is next year's camping trip and how do I sign up!?

  14. I would camp with you and only you. And shitler and mac. And Jack Bauer.


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