Tuesday, September 24

a compilation of sorts

i think besides the couch the internet is the place where i want to spend mostly all my time.
thankfully i can almost always do the whole two birds, one stone thing.
so i thought that today i would bring you a few things i'm obsessing over.
and also a look into how i categorize things in my brain.

people's children i want to kidnap:
  • little e and samson - basically just a blog i visit on the daily when i want to feel better about myself.
    or worse.
  • ALL of casey's because hello DUH.
p.s. i'm not actually going to kidnap your children.  i mean at least probably not.

people i would like to skin and wear:
  • stupid nicholl and her stupid prettiness like all the damn time.
  • jenni.  obviously.  also i want her dogs.

if i had to be knocked up i would want it to look just like this:

people's cats i would commit a felony trying to acquire:
  • and tiff - you just know me and Ms. JMeoww would shut shit down.

people i would punch other people in the throat for:
  • samm.  for all the obvious reasons - the most glaringly obvious being we're soul mates.
  • shitler.  that d-bag doesn't have a blog (obviously).  but i would punch so many people in the throat for him if they tried to fuck with him.  mainly because fucking with him is my job and nobody better try to take that from me.

people i so desperately need to binge drink with:
  • whit.  because i need to be challenged.
  • mac.  or should i say rose...

people who are so smart that i hate them, kind of:
  • TY.  STOP IT.  kidding.  don't ever stop.  plus - i just want you to talk lawyer to me.
  • lisa.  that hoe writes and she writes well.

squirrels i need in my life like yesterday:

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  1. So the meoww thing has a new amazon box to live in, until Justin throws it away when I'm not looking and then I kill him. And sometimes she just sits there in it and I call her "The Dick in a Box."


    We love you. Off to click on links!

  2. Awwww, thanks, lady! When I saw the squirrel I LOLd and woke Ozzie up and now he's a bit pissed but I showed him the squirrel and I think he understands. (But how the heck did you happen to stumble upon a post of mine from April?! Hahahaha!)

  3. Somehow this post took an hour to read. Thanks foe the time suck!

    And for the new ladies to stalk.

  4. I always tell people I'm going to skin them or kidnap their children and then they give me "that look" and do an awkward laugh type of thing. I end up trying to reassure them that I don't actually want children and that I'm too much of a puss baby to actually skin someone. Also, you can have my cat. Her name is Shaft and she's an absolute bitch.


    1. yaaaaaaaaaa like i only want your kid when it's doing cute stuff/not crying/not shitting.

      ALSO - i think i love your cat and we haven't even been formally introduced.

  5. I feel like I should be creeped out by so much of this but I just love it so much.

  6. Haha, this post is amazing. And I discovered some new blogs! Win - win!

    Kate | Diaries of an Essex Girl


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