Thursday, June 28

Textual Feeling: Heat Stroke

hello world.
i'd like to announce that i've decided to compulsively bake this weekend.  so that means no one better bother me.  
or i will fucking shank you with a whisk.  
a wire one.  
after i have severed some of the little whisky things so they're pointy and sharp.
and i'm going to listen to zeppelin and elp on a constant loop throughout this bake-off with myself and it's going to be tremendous.

and in all seriousness - i was going another direction with this post and then i had this conversation with b.  and it instantly became my favorite thing in the entire world.
b: you'd be amazed how quickly this heat takes effect on the testicles.
me:  i'll do you one better.  imagine a sweaty, smelly vagina after an hour of intense cardio and then getting into a sweltering hot car that has no air conditioning and driving home.
b: your vagina doesn't cling to your thigh and begin acting like a creepy wall crawler.
me: you don't know that.
b: that's true.  i'm just taking a shot in the dark.
me: thank you.  i appreciate you not making assumptions about my vagina.
b: come on, we all know it's smelly and warn out.  kind of like a drained, inflatable pool.
me: i will neither confirm nor deny.
now go forth and discuss the intense heat and the damage it causes to your genitals.

2 comments

  1. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

    I saw "smelly vagina" at the bottom in your labels... LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. So I went all "single white female" on your blog this afternoon and have been reading through your old posts. I've come to the conclusion that we are pretty much soul mates. Don't really care if you believe it or not and don't really care if you want to be my soul mate or not. Shit's not even relevant. What is relevant, however, is that I found this post with the label "smelly vagina."

    Thank you for all that you do. You rock my socks.

    ReplyDelete

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