Tuesday, July 1

death to shitler being right

can we talk about how i constantly bail on things?
it's terrible and i'll 100% cop to it.
like this is my whole life summed up in one meme.

and why is it that you (or maybe it's just me) have the very best of intentions of doing other things when you're embroiled in something else?  like when i'm work all i think about in my head is how if i weren't at work that i would be doing like a skajillion other more productive things.  

laundry?  i'd get every single piece of dirty under-roos laundered and put away in their respective drawers (which is quite the huge feat since i'm the queen of leaving piles of folded laundry strewn around the house).

work out?  i'd kill it.  like a full hour of cardio, followed by intense weight lifting and core work, and then finish everything off with a stretch session.

clean and organize?  oh man would i get that office space organized and all the dishes done and everything in the whole place swept, and the floors cleaned, and maybe go through tons of stuff that i don't need and get rid of it rather than just watch things i don't need accumulate in my life.

meal prep?  i would plan the shit out of healthy meals for like a week.  possibly even make mason jar salads my bitch.

read super intelligent books?  YUP.  because if i weren't at work i would totally be reading war and peace and i would just be plowing through it and thinking super intellectual things about it.

but what's hilarious about all those things that i totally convince myself i would be doing if i wasn't at work end up maybe happening but in like the most half-assed of ways.  as in i put in a load of laundry and forget about it.  i work out but it's a mediocre half an hour on the elliptical while i concentrate more on watching the real housewives of anything.  my cleaning consists of just moving things around so it looks less cluttered.  meal prep seems like a lot of work so a frozen pizza it is.  and reading war and peace takes a backseat to putting on reruns of new girl and reading smut instead.

but the worst thing is that when you actually do follow through on the things you said you were going to do in the manner that you intended on doing them it makes you end up feeling super accomplished and really good about yourself.  go figure.

for instance once upon a time i committed to running a 5K.  like paid for it and actually made the effort to try and run every day to at least make the running of the actual 5K a little less painful.  but then the day before said 5K i panicked and refused to do it.  shitler was out of town and kept pestering me about whether or not i was excited for the 5K the next day.  i had zero intention of telling him that i was going to bail but then he wouldn't let up and i finally confessed and he berated me until i promised that i would get my shit together and make good on something that i said i was going to do.  and i ran it.  and i ran it semi-well and i felt really good about it and son of a bitch shitler was right.

or once upon another time i promised shitler that i would go to some nonsense carnival and i can honestly say that in the back of my mind i prayed for rain so that maybe we would end up not having to go.  but shitler was so excited and all he talked about was wanting a funnel cake and wanting to eat said funnel cake with me and i was like "ugh fine we can go but for like one half hour."  but when we got to the carnival and there were pickles on sticks and a tilt-a-whirl - it was game over and guess who had fun and guess who was right?  again.

so i'm sure you might be wondering what the point of this whole entire thing was.
and there is a point; albeit a simple one.
i have dinner plans tonight.  and i was going to cancel because i had gazillion household chores that needed to get done (that probably wouldn't have gotten done had i bailed on dinner) and also my allergies were wreaking havoc on my face and also my couch..  but shitler told me i had to go and that i can't just make plans and then bail.  and, in this instance, he's right.  so that's the point.  that i'm going to dinner tonight.  although i'm sure shitler will try and twist this into the fact that i'm admitting he's right all the damn time.  which he isn't.

also if i don't hear this song tomorrow night i might cry.

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  1. If constantly wanting to bail on plans and be anti-social is wrong, I don't want to be right.


  3. Wait, why would one ever be opposed to a carnival?! Funnel cakes, fried Oreos, and anything and everything on a stick. EVERYTHING tastes better on a stick! If it comes on a stick, you get it and you enjoy it!
    And, I am having those exact bail on plans tonight thoughts. Which is stupid because my plans include a .8 mile drive to my friends/neighbors house to consume wine and watch the Bachelorette from this week. I'm just feeling too lazy to shower and get this sweaty post-workout stank off me so I can keep said friends if I go

  4. You should listen to your husband more often. Being submissive in your marriage is the only way it is going to work. He is the man. He makes the rules and you need to listen.


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