Thursday, October 24

i do declare

why hello slut-puppies.

it is i (me?) - shannon.  whichever.  you get it.  i'm here.

this post really isn't going to have much of substance other than me officially announcing and dedicating an entire post to the fact that the buck will stop here.  and that buck being my jiggly, fat ass.
without being one of those fucking freakwad chicks who only talk about, ZOMG THEIR WEDDING once they get engaged, i just need to highlight to the world that there's like six months till i will forever (hopefully) be mrs. shitler and i'd rather not have to look at my wedding pictures for the rest of my life and lament about how chubby i was.  

p.s. i have my wedding dress that i ordered online and i haven't even tried it on because i'm afraid that i'm too giant to fit into it.  HELP ME MY BRAIN DOESN'T WORK.

so basically i have a plan.  kind of.  because i'm also really bad at plans and follow through.
i really wish it were as easy as i was musing about yesterday when it came to working out.
but anyway.  things too look forward to include but are not limited to:
  • me not revealing my starting weight.  god no.  big ups if people are crazy enough to do that but i won't even let shitler know my weight so there's not a fat fucking chance i'm going to tell you internet people.
  • hangry rating (obviously).
  • one post a week that's diet and exercise related.  relax - that's for me.  you totally don't have to read it if you don't want and i want even blame you because that shit is lame.  but i'll probably post it on a sunday so when you guys have better things to do be doing (like living life) you can readily avoid it.
  • goal setting - GASP OMG I KNOW WTF ARE THOSE.  i figure i should have some.  like small ones.
  • rewards for mehself.  because i'll also deserve gifts i bought myself if i achieve even the most minor of goals.  thank you regina george.
  •  photo tumblr_lpjax4ZBKm1qee6wmo1_250_zps56aeee2d.gif

so that's really what this post is about.  me telling you that i'm going on a diet for this fucking bullshit upcoming wedding.  and also that i'm going to need some help to keep me accountable.  like stand by for frantic texts needing you to tell me to put down the carbs.  because if this doesn't work i'm going to have to resort to illegal diet pills and laxatives.  and i feel like that could messy.  ew.

also this will be my life from now on.


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