Friday, January 24

cohesive i am not

here are a few things i feel like writing about that actually don't have much to do with each other.

last night we went scouting freezers so that i can do some general meat hoarding.  since we were out in different areas that we don't normally frequent we decided to stop at woodman's (first timers me shitler and i were).  the jury is still out on how i feel about it.  it's larger than life and makes me slightly uncomfortable and there were three people checking out the cart in front us which made me confused so basically i'm uncomfortably confused about woodman's.  i think.  shitler pointed out that it's as though someone was all "yes, give me every brand of everything in existence because we'll stock it here at woodman's."  and that's exactly right.  because if you need to go to a store that carries 3700 different types of lunch meat then woodman's is for you.

but we went to woodman's.  and i got an orange and a spaghetti squash.  and i was the happiest person ever and i was so excited that i texted samm and was all "WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM TO EAT THIS ORANGE" and she sarcastically said something about me not going too crazy.  so basically this what my life has come to.  becoming outrageously excited about things like squash and oranges.  this diet is making me insane.

that actually looks like trash.  sorry.  but it was delicious.  so don't judge that poor squash by that gross photo.

also like two weeks ago we were up in the northwoods.  it was there that shitler decided to mess with his tooth that he thought he cracked a week prior but did what we both do best and just ignored it.  so while playing with it he actually cracked it worse.  like into two separate pieces.  one which jutted up over the other part of his tooth preventing him from being able to bite down thus not allowing him to eat solids/anything good thus making me cackle BECAUSE WELCOME TO MY DIET WORLD.  but that's neither here nor there.  because upon cracking his tooth he looked at me with giant puppy dog eyes and the sad lip (i added the sad lip part for fun) and said "can you call your manager and take off so you can come to the dentist with me?"  SO I DID.  because men are really just giant babies.  so we visited the dentist and then journeyed to the oral surgeon where they extracted said tooth.  and then on the drive home shitler said "i'm a man.  i work construction and i build things but the dentist frightens me."  and i was like "ok.  take your pills."

so it's since been a week and he's still in pain and he's still taking pills and sending me pill-related snap chats.
but his face is hurting less and less which means i have to hear him bitch about it less and less.  but also him and murphy lee just hanging out in bed together is just too hilarious for me to even handle.

so there.  things that don't go together but now do go together because i wrote about them in the same post.

p.s. i'm getting real annoyed at not being able to listen to the beyonce album on spotify.  like COME.ON.
but they will let me listen to two songs.  which is generous of them.  and one i'm completely obsessed with now.  
beyonce's "XO" can just do it to me.  so naturally i'll link up with whitney and blast this shit on repeat.
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  1. What the heck is Woodman's? You weird Wisconsin people, stockpiling your meat and spaghetti squashes...

  2. Can you just go ahead and send me that food. I don't care what it is, it looks delish.

  3. Food that looks like trash is usually the most delicious.

  4. Seriously Murphy Lee and that pose! Too cute! Glad Shitler is feeling better! Spaghetti squash is the bomb!

  5. WHAT THE EFF IS WOODMAN'S?!? Also I vommed over the tooth situation. And also all over beyonce because SURFBOARD is my new favorite thing to say randomly when it has nothing to do with anything else like during drunk on love.

  6. I feel like Murphy Lee's crotch should be blurred out. It's very erotic!

  7. Why are guys such wimps? You're a good almost wife for taking care of him. Plus you want him to be able to smile for your wedding photos!


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