Tuesday, January 7

this will be our year, took a long time to come

so this last saturday marked exactly four months till shitler and i get hitched.
which is weird.  and awhile back i attempted to win some cash money from the knot to pay for our destination wedding nuptials with the telling of our engagement story.  then i badgered most of you to vote.  but to no avail because we weren't finalists and WHATEVER MY ENGAGEMENT STORY ISN'T FILLED WITH FLOWERS AND RAINBOW FARTS AND A RING IN A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE OR A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE (although champagne was a factor) but i like to think my engagement story is perfectly ridiculous and i wouldn't have it any other way.

that being said - here is the story.  enjoy or destroy.
the major players: shitler and shannon
the background: a couple of kids who met on the swing set and the rest is history.
and by history i mean thirteen years together.
the scene: shannon, in preparation for their departure to mexico for a family wedding, decides to drink two bottles of champagne and pass out naked in bed before their flight.  3:30AM rears its ugly head and that obnoxiously awful alarm goes off.  shitler is overly excited and way too peppy for 3:30AM.  he asks repeatedly if he can turn the light on.  shannon, having over-served herself the night before, is none too thrilled about the hungover-ish situation she finds herself waking up in.  she reluctantly tells shitler that he can turn the light on and reminds herself to brace her eyeballs for the terribleness that is the blinding light.  she pulls the blankets over her head and shitler, still unable to contain his unusual excitement, bounds over to shannon and tells her that he bought her something to wear in mexico.  "an over-sized sombrero?" shannon hopes.  he tells her to close her eyes.  she fist pumps and willingly does (see previously mentioned champagne-induced hangover).  shannon hears rustling and then footsteps and the next thing she hears is "how would you like to go to mexico ENGAGED?!"  and when she blearily opens her eyes an engagement ring is crammed in her face.

the following conversation ensues:

shannon: wait.  what?
shitler: do you want to go to mexico engaged?
shannon: wait, seriously?
shitler: yes.
shannon: is this really happening?
shitler: uhhh ya.
shannon: holy shit.  yes.

having still not come to terms with the fact that she is now officially, actually going to get married after thirteen years, she throws on some clothes, barrels down the stairs, and wakes up both her and shitler's brothers by declaring " I'M ENGAGED MOTHERFUCKERS!"

so that's my story.  it's all sorts of non-traditional.  and for that - i love it a lot.

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27 comments

  1. I think "wait. what?" is the best thing you could have possibly done in an engagement situation. I can only hope my future engagement (to George Clooney- someone has to tie that ass down) will end up like this.

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  2. You totally should have won. I vote for a recount!

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  3. umm helllo. Why the hell didn't you win! That is seriously the best engagement story ever.

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  4. Baby shit and baby shan are the cutest things I've ever seen and your engagement story is way better than unicorn farts.

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  5. Look at you being all fashionably ahead of trends & wearing mint way back when. Such a fashionista. And such a good story teller. You totally should have won!

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  6. At least you said yes. I took the ring and walked away to call my friends. Oh, I might have also said something that morning along the lines of "don't propose anytime soon, I won't say yes."

    So... i'm a bitch.

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  7. I can't get over how cute you (both) used to be. Did you ever get your over-sized sombrero!?

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  8. Such a jackass for not getting you an over-sized sombrero. Douche.
    You better get one when you say "I do".

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  9. How could they not choose your story?! Commercial clowns! Do they not know who you are?! Rubbish! Wait, did you include the pictures, because I think it really sells the story. You need to pitch it to TLC!

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  10. Just so you know, whether you like it or not, you guys are adorable.

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  11. ahhhh haha I love this! Who needs the super sweet engagements anyway! Also...this give me some needed hope because its been 7 years for The Boy & I and I was starting to get like uhhh who dates for 7 years before getting engaged????

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  12. and yet, after the shilter looking like we wants to go HAM with that penis shaped whatever, you still wanna marry him? #luckybastard

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  13. Cute story! Love the "I'm engaged motherfuckers" part hahaha

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  14. Wait...Shitler hasn't always had a huge beard?? That's weird. I would have figured that he came out of the womb that way...

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  15. I think it's adorable and I also hope that you used the bottom right photo on your save the dates.

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  16. Ha!! How does that not win some cash money? Or at least hoes?

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    1. i would have been happy with some hoes.

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  17. Best engagement story. EVER. Period. The end!

    kristiesbluejeans.blogspot.com

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  18. Umm this is so sweet! My engagement is jealous haha

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  19. Hahahaha. I love the "I'M ENGAGED MOTHERFUCKERS!" lol. Too cute!! Oh and the awesome creamy dildo pic is the best!!

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  20. That picture on the right is my new favorite. Also, hands down the best way to announce an engagement!

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