Tuesday, January 14

WWJD: he'd give major props to our online ordained religious person

swearsies this isn't turning into a blog about weddings.  or mainly a blog about my wedding.
but there will definitely be upcoming posts about said wedding.  mainly about how everything that could go wrong, will go wrong.  i certainly hope that i'm not more ceceptible to murphy's law since i own a dog named murphy but things are starting to seem that way.

fun fact: i have a bachelors in religious studies.  i know - your mind is totally blown.  but i needed to preface this post with that so people don't think i'm anti-church stuff.  because i'm not.  mainly i'm totally obsessed with all things religious history - hence the useless bachelor's degree.  what i WILL roll my eyes at are things that are overly church-related that get shoved down people's throats/the people that mainly do church-related things for attention.  those are the things i can do without.

with that being said i must reveal that shitler and i will not be married by a person of the cloth.
we will be married by this guy:


jury is still out on whether the dog is assisting or not.  but she's more than welcome.

i think it's semi-hilarious the amount of time and effort people put into their wedding.  like picking the right pastor/reverend/priest, or the vows, or which church.  i mean our choice was born out a drunken discussion one night and someone dibs'ing the vows.  

originally it was this girl who so wanted to marry us:

and no i don't give out lapdances on the regular but at that moment in time it seemed like a good idea.  in a drunken discussion one night it was decided that maybe april (chick above) should be one of my bridesmaid and not our woman of the cloth.  and that maybe our dearest friend, uncle, should be the one to marry us.  i don't know of anyone that knows us better than uncle.  we boat, we drink, we ice fish, we get down with our bad selves with uncle and for that we love him.  so uncle did what any future pastor/reverend/whatever does and went online to get ordained.  and he will journey with us to mexico where hopefully the ceremony he delivers will be a complete shit show.  because that's what this whole thing is (and i say that lovingly-ish).

i think it's abundantly clear that shitler and i are two people that take nothing too seriously and i'd rather have someone marry us that knows us and our drinking habits.  also - uncle is making us do the fun kind of pre-marriage counseling.  like the kind at a bar.  so that's a plus.

there's actually no point to this post.  mainly i just wanted to tell everyone that our online-ordained pastor/reverend/minister is better than yours.

and also that shitler and i feel good about it.  probably really the only thing we feel good about pertaining to the wedding.  other than the two week vacation.







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18 comments

  1. Wait but I WANTED TO OFFICIATE. Thanks for nothing, Shan.

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  2. But if the dog doesn't come I'm going to be greatly disappointed.
    DON'T DISAPPOINT ME.

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  3. Every time I read your posts I just want to drink, and I am ok with that:)

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  4. I am pretty sure that uncle needs an assistant and the dog is perfect. Bring the dog.

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  5. I love the bar time marriage counseling, it is where most fights will happen and also get resolved! :) The dog really should be a part of the service. Too cute for words!

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  6. A dog officiate makes the best officiate.

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  7. that dog needs a tophat should she attend the wedding. and she certainly should

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  8. Pretty sure you are failing at your wedding by not allowing Whit to officiate, Brin to do flowers, Faith to take pictures, and me just to sit on my ass and watch.

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    1. I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE JUST GOING TO SURPRISE ME AND SHOW UP.

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  9. I love the idea of having someone you know officiate. When we get married (one day) I don't want anything that has to do with religion in our wedding. I respect that it's what other people want/need but it just ain't my cup of tea!

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  10. I am officiating the wedding of two gal pals this summer and need to figure out how to do this ordaining. It's gotta be official, right? I can't fake it? How much does it cost? Thanks, answer man.

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  11. I got married in some chapel in Vegas, no one remembers the wedding let alone the chapel. I believe it was the whole Rat Pack who married us. Can't be sure, shit was blurry. A non traditional wedding is always the way to go.

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  12. Uhm, my online ordained pastor is way better than yours. But whatever, we'll agree to disagree on that one and we'll agree with everything else in this post. That's why Ryan and I had a totally non-religious ceremony with our own online ordained person, and did whatever religious shit we wanted to by ourselves, which im pretty sure consisted of nothing except like 2 sessions of premarital counselling with someone from bethel just for funsies.

    I'm glad we're friends. I like you. Also, I'm slowly making a little gift basket of shit im going to give you about a month before your wedding. And by slowly, I mean there's one thing in it so far and you'll probably get it the month afterwards. Because it's me.

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  13. YES. I also have an online ordained situation and on her certificate she made herself a Doctor of Space and Time. My catholic mother is THRILLED.

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  14. Fun fact... I can legally marry anyone in the United States (ironically, not in Canada) except Nevada... so I totally could've done it... except you're marrying Shitler in Mexico, so there's that. BUT STILL, SHAN. YOU COULD HAVE ASKED ME. FUCK.

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