Friday, June 20

i'm an adult failure

"why do carbs have to be so heavenly and why does working out have to be a thing?"

in all honestly - the above two questions are things that i ask myself on a daily basis.  and no longer having to feel the pressure of not being chubby for wedding photos that i'll have to look at for forever and ever has instilled a bit of complacency in me.  like complacency to the tune of an eight pound weight gain.  which is depressing since i malnourished myself fair and square to be rid of those eight (and then some) pounds.  and the worst thing about the way my brain works is that it's so incredibly difficult for me to want to do anything without some sort of concrete end goal.  

examples include but aren't limited to:
"hey shannon maybe you should work out and eat to just feel good about yourself and be healthy."
nope, no thanks.  
"maybe you should keep the house semi-tidy just because you're some form of an adult."
nah, my clutter calms me.
"doing laundry on a regular basis would stress you out less."
i disagree.  nothing keeps you on your toes like semi-wet work clothes in the morning.

so the point is that i think i just need to set goals for myself on a smaller scale and perhaps that will trick my brain into being a more productive and mature adult (not likely, but let's give it a go).

with that being said - yesterday marked the beginning of my newly declared quest.  and that quest being i need to lose ten pounds in twenty-nine days and in those same twenty-nine days i'm also going to run one hundred miles.  woof.  but it's not that bad.  it averages out to about 3.5 miles per day.  i banged out four miles last night then planned on getting more miles in today but instead today is proving to be a semi-failure. knowing that i was working fourteen hours today meant that i needed to get up and go run at like 5AM but instead i snooze-buttoned it till 6.45AM, got up and curled my hair, and then discovered it was down pouring rain so all the hair curling was for naught and no running actually happened.  so now said running has to happen tonight.  after fourteen hours worth of work.  or else i'm going to be severely behind and i don't feel like trying to bang out ten miles worth of running in one day because a marthoner i am not.

here's some proof of the four miles from last night.  although i could have just snagged that photo from some obscure place on the internet but i didn't so you're just going to have to trust me.  and also FYI it was terrible.  ugh.

lastly we should all brainstorm on things that i should possibly reward myself with upon hopefully completing said goals?  what types of fancy shit should i demand from shitler?  halp me decide.  and also hold me when i want to cry because the running is attempting to beat me into a pile of goo that just wants to sit on the couch and eat chips all day long.
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  1. I think you should get a massage. Not from Shitler. That's what I would do.

    Or just like, a lot and lot and lot of booze and bread, which would totally defeat the purpose of all the running and shit and that's also why I first suggested something that is not food.


  2. How about $1 for every mile you run?! Then you can go get yourself something snazzy :)

  3. You're not a failure lol, congrats on the 4 miles. I drank 4 beers last night:)

  4. Can we semi-verbally-abusive workout accountability partners?

  5. Holy HELL that is a lot of running. I say switch to 'drink 100 beers' instead of 'run 100 miles', but maybe you could do both and see how that works out.

  6. Technically since you ran 4 last night, you only need to run 3 tonight. There's always a loophole.

  7. I vote massage... after all that running your going to need it.

  8. Sad face :( If you need some extra motivation/kick in the ass just let me know and I'll appropriately swear at you until you run 3.5 miles...or more, your welcome :)

  9. Soooo you waitress as a second job right?? Do those 11 million steps a night you take factor into your mile counting?? Cause I sure as hell count my shifts as a workout.

  10. For what it's worth I did a mile-a-day challenge last January where my only goal was to run 1 mile a day (but some days I did more) and I lost seven pounds without doing anything else differently; definitely not trying to be a hater bc I have no idea what your regular monthly mileage is but 100 is A LOT! Kudos to you for setting big goals-- I'd reward myself with a vacation after completing that!

  11. I'm basically an adult failure, too. I have a pile of dirty laundry and a basket of clean laundry and man, the internet beckons....


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