Friday, May 10


i am in no mood for the day.  or the weekend.
i wish i had a bad mood-b-gone spray or something because this is just ridiculous.
i get to work seven out of seven days this week.  which is always wonderful.
but maybe i'm just overly emotional.  maybe i'm getting ready to paint the town red soon.  maybe the office is coming to an end and while i haven't been faithful in the last few years i can't help but weep over pam and jim in the last few episodes (particularly last night's) and also aaron rodgers was on last night.  maybe i took two dollars out of our wedding piggy bank this morning because i wanted an iced coffee.  maybe i'm just not in the mood for any of the things.  like in all the world.  but i'm going to reluctantly high five some things from this week.

1// this shouldn't get a high-five.  more like a kick to the sack.  because maybe i spent the last week pestering people on various social media outlets to rate our engagement story the best which i happen to think is just atrociously hilarious and terrible in the best possible way so that we could be in the top five finalists.  and then i spent an insane amount of time clearing the cookies on my browser and just rating my story the best.  and then i also resorted to one-ring rating all the rest of the stories.  like "oh the eiffel tower in the background?  lame.  one ring rating."  "jumbo-tron proposal?  more like jumbo-lame.  one-ring."  "i'm sorry but no to your engagement video and also the engagement video teaser.  ONE-RING."  but back to the sack-kicking.  because we totally didn't get in the top five.  are you even kidding?  makes me just want to go on a baby kicking rampage.  but i'll refrain.  but note that none of those stories are our story.  so i went ahead and just banned their pictures from my sight instead of punching babies.

2// get out of here DROID with your offers.  iPhone 4 life.  it's like they think they can lure me away.  joke's on them.  THEY CAN'T.

3// shitler says i have to stop spending money.  but when partylite has such lovely things that have such lovely smells i can't help it.  but i'll try.  that's about all i can promise.

4// baby b just partying it up in the dirt.  cracks me up.  fun fact: the other night when i was up at baby b's house to get my party lite (see numero 3) she decided to pull down her pants and take a shit on the living room floor.  i don't know what she was trying to say.  like she wanted me to just GTFO of her house?  that's what she thinks of partylite?  i don't know.  but i high-tailed it out of there.

5// that face.  like that face he gives that makes it look like he has the worst life ever in the history of all dog lives.  like i'm sorry murphy lee.  i'll stop giving you copious amounts of treats on the reg, throwing your disgusting ball covered in mud, and letting you swim all day.  you're right.  your life is terrible.  the buck stops here.

but anyway.  i'm sullen and downtrodden.
so i'm going to try and fix that with this for my ass:

it's not necessarily all that conduscive for backing up my ass but i know all the words (even the fast part) and that makes me feel really accomplished.

p.s. i need some cat LOLz today.  so get it together and send me lots of them.

Gin and Bare It


  1. I want bad mood b-gone spray, too!

  2. When people tell me to stop spending money I want to tell them to stop breathing.

    Sorry you didn't get the top five, love muffin. Maybe if Shitler wasn't an ass and didn't give it a 1 ring rating. And me too. Maybe if I wasn't an ass.



  3. Aww cheer up! Go sniff some Party lite loot.

  4. about the office...THANK YOU. i don't know what it is but i am crying over it like a little baby. and im sorry you have to work everyday- that just plain sucks, as does andriod.

  5. I will never ever leave iPhone for Droid.

    In other news, love you boo!

  6. Those dumb jumbo tron ass holes can eat a bucket of nut sack. I hate losers like that. Sorry your in the grumps lady, I hope you can back your azz into a great weekend.

  7. Baby taking a shit... could be really happy and really angry... you never know.

  8. HERE:

    She really shit on the floor? Did someone sell her on craigslist? Even though that picture is adorables. SHE SHIT ON THE FLOOR.

  9. She shit on the floor. I'm laughing so hard there may be an accident over here.

  10. Those ass clowns aint got nithing on you and shitler.
    And that's all there is to it.


    You're welcome.

  12. I totally know all the words too. Perfection. At least you can get drunk later..?

  13. So sad to hear that you didnt make the top 5 :( I loved your story! AND I totally think you deserve to spend some money on your self as a treat for not making it into the top 5 :)


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