Tuesday, May 21

shannon goes to summercamp

once upon a time there was a summer where shannon decided to go to any and all music festivals (it could also be referred to as the summer that shannon thought she had way more money than she actually did).  in reality there were only like three festivals but umm hello that's a lot for a person as lazy as shannon.

memorial day weekend seemed as good as any other weekend to just kick shit off right.
an extra long weekend filled with tunes and general debauchery?  sign shannon up.
so it was off to summercamp music festival with shannon, her friend bowser, and bowser's man-friend.
what originated as a standard two-hour trip to the state of illinois turned out to be extensively longer since no one was paying attention to anything and the trio ended up getting lost which translated into having to set up camp in the dark of the night.  which is difficult when you've been enjoying road sodas.  it's also even worse when you discover that they're super serious about you not carrying in your own booze and they're more pro-BUY-OUR-INSANELY-EXPENSIVE-SHITTY-BEER inside the festival.  the majority of the weekend was comprised of making multiple trips to the car to fill our tiny karkovs up with the vodka and then crotching them back into the festival.
which also, in retrospect, maybe one of the two skanks could have done without so much vodka.
CLASSY - i know.

looking back it would be appropriate to label this as shannon's "bandana phase" because she was clearly extremely serious about rocking them.  the first day of the festival involved breakfast drinking, traipsing around the festival, and making kissy faces.

the group enjoyed the musical stylings of family groove company, g.love and the special sauce and then that's all shannon can remember.

except that at one point during the day bowser's man-friend was lost but then quickly re-found when he came sprinting by out of nowhere and knocked shannon's beer onto her (good thing it was bowser's shirt).
and then also we found super-recycling-loving lady.

suffice it to say that at some point shannon got irrationally drunk and thought she was the third-wheel.  so she decided to get lost from the group (which meant sitting on a pile of dirt like six campsites away) and wailing on the phone to shitler about her plight.  but it wasn't a plight.  because she was just a typical drunk girl overreacting about literally nothing.  so she put her big girl pants on and went back to the campsite to sleep off the probable alcohol poisoning.  and before she knew it it was once again time to rise and groove.  because that day was the day shannon had been looking forward to all weekend.  it was time for george clinton and parliament funkadelic.  and apparently also a man in a diaper.

suffice it to say that shannon didn't entirely learn her lesson from the previous day.  because she threw caution to the wind, didn't apply sun screen, and got drunk all over again.

if there was a lesson to be learned here it's that shannon shouldn't be allowed to drink in public places.
see also miller park drunk.

stay tuned for the next installment: shannon meets bad adam.
p.s. this was circa 2008.  when i like to think i was way better at drinking than i am now.

Gin and Bare It


  1. I looove G' love and special sauce.
    I am in need of a good festival, and of course the money to pay for it.

  2. I could go for some breakfast drinking right now.

  3. Man in a diaper. Vodka. Kissing a pig's ass on a Trojan truck. Awesome. :)

  4. I love this entirely too much and would have been right Beside you drinking the whole time. And might have stolen super recycling loving lady's flag.

  5. Ummmmm why are we not best friends? So many of my stories are drunk ones that I can only remember half of, I need to find a vodka-buddy to be apart of them

  6. Were you TWELVE in 2008? You look like a baby!! I feel like I should report these pictures to some authorities looking out for middle school drinkers or something..

  7. bwahahaha. white girl wasted. this slays me.

  8. Um I don't think you ever should have abandoned bandana phase. it was awesome.

  9. Hi! I have no idea how I came across your blog, but I did and now I'm following because you crack me up. Also because there is a picture of G. Love in your post. Win.

  10. road sodas and crotched vodka...you really are my other half

  11. I have a drinking game for your blog..... finish your drink every time you say, "suffice it to say that at some point shannon got irrationally drunk"

  12. I IMed this post to my boyfriend thinking he might know the name of the guy in the diaper... and he was all, "I don't know his name, but he's dead now." Wikipedia says his name is Garry Shider.

    Good times, good times...

  13. You look like you had the best time. Ugh someone take me back to college. Summer is already boring me.


    1. let's just bail on this grown up bullshit in general.

  14. Um. You got to see George Clinton. I am highly pissed that I wasn't there to join the festivities.

    I would've brought the brownies ;)


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