Monday, June 17

everyone wins

i'm certainly not going to go back and read whatever i wrote on friday.
no ma'am.
because frankly the insane amount of pictures that i took this weekend only serve to remind me that i:
a. have no life
b. seriously have no life
c. should make better choices because i don't remember everything about the weekend.

friday was my surgery day to get two pesky wisdom teeth forcefully removed from my face place.
it was like a dream.  i don't remember falling asleep, the doctor assured me i did since i immediately began snoring (to which shitler said: "yup, sounds about right"), and i do remember telling the oral surgeon that i was just living the fucking dream.  clearly.  then shitler had the honor of taking me out in public so i could get drugs for my face pain and also other things that i didn't need but demanded nonetheless.  like sparkly flip flops, juice boxes, and massive amounts of jell-o.
then it was home to the couch.
where apparently my only way of communicating was through pictures.  of my dogs.

and basically i felt like a goddamn super hero.
like i was prepared to go back to work.  solve all the problems of the world.  drink all the wine. 
i was unstoppable.  i even ate salmon.

but that feeling drastically came to a halt on saturday.
upon waking up it felt like i had gotten hit by a goddamn mack truck.  
and the only think that was going to make me feel even the tiniest bit better was massive amounts of ice cream and movies.  i managed to cash a variety of movies but got unnecessarily angry when the dvd for brave wouldn't work.  so WHATEVER i don't know what happens.  because the last part i saw was her having that terrible fight with her momma and then fleeing on horseback.  i hope everything turns out ok.

but then also we had to clean the house.  because shitler invited all the families over for father's day celebrating on sunday.  and let's face it - i'm the laziest piece of shit on the planet and i hate having to do any work of any kind.  but it's ok - because i made it through.  and i officially made myself useful even though i was pain pill drugged out of my mind.

like i hung out with these kids.

and then somehow i managed to snap some of the cutest photos of them ever.
like yes i will pat myself on the back.  because there is no way that i should have been able to get these in the state i was in this weekend.  and also i'm unsure why shitler let me use my nice, expensive camera when i probably would have chucked into the lake had someone dare me to.

but i digress.
feast your eyes.

Gin and Bare It


  1. Yay Brave made the post. Such a cute movie

  2. What adorable photos!!!! Hope your feeling better!

  3. ALL THE BABIES. my ovaries are about to explode... especially the tiny fashionista. also really love that you made shitler get you sparkly flip flops. diva.

  4. OMG Miss Hollywood! And babies! My ovaries are SCREAMING at me: "why did you tie them??????????"

    Sounds like you had a wonderful time dear! And you didn't mention the cat photos I sent you. Ugh.

  5. I just wish my hair did what kids hair does. Not fair.

  6. Oh my God those kids are too cute! Also: I think this is my favorite post of yours so far.

  7. Wisdom teeth are seriously the devil! They are such adorable kids!

  8. Give meee the babiessss. Also as soon as you said you ate SALMON I knew this was going downhill.

  9. Beautiful photos! I loved them on instagram, which I may have drunk commented on, and I love them now.

  10. fuck yeah sparkly flip flops. and that brave movie was kinda cute but me and the hubs could not get over her damn accent. after awhile we just started making fun of it

  11. i need the babies. and the wine. and the pretty pink and green sherbet. And the puppies.

  12. BABIES.

    Really though, you need to finish watching Brave. There are BEARS. So many BEARS.

  13. Cuteeee pictures. The best part of getting my wisdom teeth cut out was the weight I lost because I couldn't eat any solid foods for a freaking week!

  14. I still need to see Brave. Although I think we can guess it ends happily ever after.

    I need someone in my family (not me) to have children to have around- they look entertaining.


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