Monday, June 3

DIY dog grooming is for the birds

does anyone else's allergies turn them into a major mouth-breather?
i feel like a dog.  and also like i'm panting.  i'm a wreck.
shitler was all "maybe you actually do have allergies."  and i was all "uhhh thanks?"  did he think it was all a ruse?  like i enjoyed spending money on allergy medication (which whatever claritin i'm over the fact that you cost $25) and that the amount of boxes of kleenex i go through was just done out of fun and absolute dedication to the role i'm playing as "miserable allergy-ridden person #1."

dearest shitler.  this.

ANYWAY.  allergies are neither here nor there.  they're everywhere.
but thankfully they didn't strike till mid-hangover 3 on sunday afternoon thusly not negatively impacting my weekend.

friday - nothing.  not one damn thing.  worked.  then worked again.  then went home to the couch and promptly passed out.  like a boss.

saturday - worked and then this happened:

1// because mounted deer heads photo bomb on the reg.
2// losing in round one of beer pong is devastating.
3// beer pong.  obviously.
4// shitler revealed that he realized he's actually old when young christopher and his friends busted out samurai swords and wolverine claws while indulging in alcohol and he grew concerned and stressed that they should really be put away because it's dangerous and "guys - this is how you end up on the nightly news."  in the meantime i just want to capture the moment for forever but it's cool because shitler is a year older than me and i don't have to be old-old just yet.
5// WINNERS.  for like a thousand times in a row.  and who would have guessed that i would become queen of the island cup.

sunday started off with three hours worth of dog grooming.  aka HELL ON EARTH.

1// he knows what's coming and he's visibly upset.
2// it's ok boo.  this is for the best.
4// looking snazzy murphy lee!

1// OMG DAD - worst day of my life.
2// fun fact - there's like some sort of guard thing on the dog clippers.  shitler removed it to clean out the disgusting amount of hair and then forgot to put it back on.  so when the grooming of the no-so-smart dog began i was all "uhhh you're really going to go that short?"  and then shitler was all "OH GOD - i forgot to put the guard back on."
so now mac has a bald spot.  and i kind of wish we would have just bic'd him.

and that's about it.  saw the hangover 3 which was HI-larious.
and i can say that because anyone that goes to the hangover 3 expecting anything other than crude and tasteless humor is an idiot.  take it for what it is.  which is basically mind-numbing comedy and be done with it.

as always i'm linking up with sami the fairy hair princess (like i want her hair.  like i want to actully cut it off and wear it as a wig).  don't be alarmed.  i won't actually do it.  like probably, possibly won't do it.

Sami's Shenanigans

p.s. this picture is too much.  he's just too ridiculous.

p.p.s for all you #GoT'ers out there (tiff mainly) receiving texts like this during an allergy-haze had me tittering with laughter.

p.p.p.s quote of the weekend = "hold me like a baby."  because there's nothing quite like seeing a drunken friend crawl into someone's arms and utter that phrase.

Gin and Bare It


  1. I'm so glad my dog doesn't need to be groomed! His hair is short and never needs to be cut. I'd die of allergies if it did.

  2. Oh woman. You are quickly becoming one of my most favoritest bloggers ever. Yeah, that's a word.

  3. you're dog's facial expressions are the best ever. and that's a pretty big feat.

  4. omg i cannot believe you'd groom him yourselves. That's crazy. Hawkeye is a she-devil once the blow dryer comes out, even her groomer thinks so.
    I was a baller at beer pong this weekend. I'm usually not that good but we played in a bar and kelli and i held onto the table for over 4 hours, defeating every boy in that place. I was so proud of me.

  5. I am NOT inviting the Frey's to my wedding EVER.

    Come groom jmeoww.

  6. 1. Can I get your grooming services?
    Fo free?

    2. Did you play any Golf MatchUp this weekend?

  7. I'm soooo obsessed with all of these pup pictures. That last one, I just can't. I laughed last night when I saw it on your instagram.

  8. Murphy Lee looks soooo much younger!!!!!!

  9. Well I'm not even going to try to groom my homeboy. He is a psycho. You did inspire me to go buy one of those Furminators (I had a coupon. Don't worry.) during my lunch today so he will at least have less hair. All of my clothes are currently covered.

    1. i'm hoping that these damn hair cuts minimize the amount of hair tumble weeds that meander through the house.

  10. wait, 3 hours of cutting dog hair? Pass.

  11. Agree on Hangover 3, obviously. Crude and tasteless humor is my favorite kind. I'll think fart jokes are funny until I die. And that last pic of the Murphster (that's what I've decided to call him) OMG. Too much cuteness and hilarity. I can't take it.

  12. the dogs look cute with their new do's...but in the second to last pic your dog is giving you mega stank eye. Next time go to the bar and make shitler do the haircuts...remind him you have "allergies"

  13. That last picture...bahahhah love it.

  14. Just thought I would share: Wal-Mart has a knock off version of Claritin that is like $3 and works just as damn good! ;)

    1. shut your damn mouth.
      i know where i'm going after work.

      bless your angel heart.

  15. OMG!! Game of Thrones!! Mind Blown!!

  16. Bwahaha that picture is awesome! Reminds me of that Husky photobomb. I'm still not over G.o.T after this next Sunday, I'm just gonna read the rest of the books, I can't handle any more shitty fucking surprises. I can handle awesome surprises of a reign of dragon fire go boom but not killing all the damn Starks, that's lame sauce.

  17. Oh my gosh my dog is exactly the same with treats and just food. He'll only eat one specific doggy treat and one type of food! You give him something, he takes away then just leaves it somewhere haha. He also won't go out in the rain even though he desperately wants a walk!
    I think our dogs are some sort of twins from another litter haha. That first picture is great by the way!

    1. hot damn is he ever so specific that dog of yours!


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