Monday, June 3

DIY dog grooming is for the birds

does anyone else's allergies turn them into a major mouth-breather?
i feel like a dog.  and also like i'm panting.  i'm a wreck.
shitler was all "maybe you actually do have allergies."  and i was all "uhhh thanks?"  did he think it was all a ruse?  like i enjoyed spending money on allergy medication (which whatever claritin i'm over the fact that you cost $25) and that the amount of boxes of kleenex i go through was just done out of fun and absolute dedication to the role i'm playing as "miserable allergy-ridden person #1."

dearest shitler.  this.

via
ANYWAY.  allergies are neither here nor there.  they're everywhere.
but thankfully they didn't strike till mid-hangover 3 on sunday afternoon thusly not negatively impacting my weekend.

friday - nothing.  not one damn thing.  worked.  then worked again.  then went home to the couch and promptly passed out.  like a boss.

saturday - worked and then this happened:


1// because mounted deer heads photo bomb on the reg.
2// losing in round one of beer pong is devastating.
3// beer pong.  obviously.
4// shitler revealed that he realized he's actually old when young christopher and his friends busted out samurai swords and wolverine claws while indulging in alcohol and he grew concerned and stressed that they should really be put away because it's dangerous and "guys - this is how you end up on the nightly news."  in the meantime i just want to capture the moment for forever but it's cool because shitler is a year older than me and i don't have to be old-old just yet.
5// WINNERS.  for like a thousand times in a row.  and who would have guessed that i would become queen of the island cup.

sunday started off with three hours worth of dog grooming.  aka HELL ON EARTH.


1// he knows what's coming and he's visibly upset.
2// it's ok boo.  this is for the best.
3// so.much.gross.dog.hair.
4// looking snazzy murphy lee!


1// OMG DAD - worst day of my life.
2// fun fact - there's like some sort of guard thing on the dog clippers.  shitler removed it to clean out the disgusting amount of hair and then forgot to put it back on.  so when the grooming of the no-so-smart dog began i was all "uhhh you're really going to go that short?"  and then shitler was all "OH GOD - i forgot to put the guard back on."
so now mac has a bald spot.  and i kind of wish we would have just bic'd him.

and that's about it.  saw the hangover 3 which was HI-larious.
and i can say that because anyone that goes to the hangover 3 expecting anything other than crude and tasteless humor is an idiot.  take it for what it is.  which is basically mind-numbing comedy and be done with it.

as always i'm linking up with sami the fairy hair princess (like i want her hair.  like i want to actully cut it off and wear it as a wig).  don't be alarmed.  i won't actually do it.  like probably, possibly won't do it.


Sami's Shenanigans

p.s. this picture is too much.  he's just too ridiculous.


p.p.s for all you #GoT'ers out there (tiff mainly) receiving texts like this during an allergy-haze had me tittering with laughter.


p.p.p.s quote of the weekend = "hold me like a baby."  because there's nothing quite like seeing a drunken friend crawl into someone's arms and utter that phrase.


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