Wednesday, August 7

my brain is mush. on account of all the tv watching.

remember back when we were kids and all you sometimes wanted to do was plop yourself down in front of the television and watch hours upon hours of everything on nickelodeon?  for the longest time my parents refused to get cable so whenever i was around someone who had it or my parents decided to get it you couldn't pry me away from the gazillion shows i thought i would just die without watching.  and you know which ones i'm talking about: guts, rugrats, clarissa explains it all, all that, double dare, legends of the hidden temple, doug, and (my personal favorite) salute your shorts.  both of my parents would yell at me for watching all my shows with my nose practically glued to the screen and both tried to convince me that it was going to rot my brain and "SHANNON would it kill you go outside and play (and i totally did and usually me and the neighbors would play power rangers)?"

which leads me to my point.
and that point is: THINGS HAVEN'T CHANGED (except for the power rangers thing.  maybe.).

it's a beautiful day out?  no thanks my DVR is full and it's making me anxious.
do you want to go out to dinner?  uhhh thanks but no thanks but something didn't record and i want to get home and try to find the next time it will air.
maybe you should read a book?  YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

but honestly.  the amount of trash television i watch is disgusting and borderline makes me feel bad about myself.
because "hello my name is shannon and i'm sad that i missed the final episode of bravo's princesses: long island and i'm getting upset that it's not on demand and there haven't been any other showings."
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shows that are rotting my brain that i just can't quit

pretty little stupid liars
it's the show that i want no one to know that i'm watching but i need to know other people that are watching because i need someone to commune with in anger in confusion.  because it never fails that i watch pretty little liars and end up having like a thousand questions and no goddamn answers.  not to mention they have a shit load of time on their hands.  but then again i never see them watching tv so maybe that's why.

all things on bravo
sometimes i try and remember a time when bravo didn't exist and dominate my entire life and i just draw a blank.  because just as one housewives franchise is coming to a season end andy cohen pops out of nowhere with another one to save the damn day.
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because i can't help but want to watch all the train wrecks and also stare at all the really, really ridiculous good looking people and also just in general not have a life.  and it's impossible to write about every, single thing i watch on bravo because "hello what don't i watch?" would probably be the better question and i would have to answer with "nothing." 

true blood
last night i thought it would be a good idea to park myself in front of the tv and watch six straight hours of true blood.  like when shitler got home from work i was laying on the couch.  and then when he left and came back from being at the bar i was in the exact same spot watching the exact same show and though he didn't say it i knew he was wondering "have you even fucking moved?"  and the answer would have been no.  mainly because i was enthralled with the weird sex sookie was having in the cemetary and also the vampire jail and also all the terrible blood effects.  damn you true blood, DAMN YOU.

p.s. don't even get me started on me watching mistresses and devious maids and the client list because that stuff is slowly eating away at my brain as well.

shows that aren't all the way rotting my brain

the walking dead
because duh.  it kind of makes you think?  please read that with inflection because that's how i intended it.  i mean what's actually going to happen?  everyone actually has the virus?  how will that pan out?  is this foreshadowing for our own future (i threw that last thing in because it sounded smart).

american horror story
IT HAS ALL THE BEST ACTORS.  which, in my world, translates to being awesome.  there's just no way in hell that all these fantastic thespians would sign onto a total shit project of a television show.  not to mention that each and every season is a new story line and basically i have the attention span of gnat so good job AHS in reeling me in hook, line, and sinker.

game of thrones
hi, hello, it's based off of a book series so it's automatically awesome (which i'm also aware pretty little liars is but like GoT is not young adult nonsense).  and to be fair you have to really commit to the books considering they're easily about seven hundred pages long each and come on dragons, and struggles for power, and early politics where people had to plan take overs with fucking messenger ravens for crying out loud.  and also there's nudity.
which is always a solid way to get me completely sucked into any show.
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the one show that will never rot my brain

"i'm federal agent jack bauer, and today is the longest day of my life."
JACK IS BACK YA'LL.  may of 2014 marks what easily be the best month of my life.  and obviously not because of that pesky wedding or whatever but because 24 is officially back (albeit on a smaller scale) but it's back nonetheless and i just can't wait to watch jack snap necks and cash checks (ok not that last part but you get it).
basically in preparation shitler and i are going to have to watch each and every single previous season again.
because it's THAT good and if you're not going to watch or haven't ever watched it then i simply can't be friends with you.


if you need me tonight you can find me on my
couch continuing to rot my brain.

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  1. Love Pretty Little Liars. I believe NCIS and Law and Order:SVU will NEVER rot the brain... my two fave shows!

  2. PLL is one of my favorite shows! My husband is even hooked and we can't get enough. I too have a million questions at the end of each episode, and spend half my time yelling at Aria, Hannah, Emily and Spencer telling them to not go after the girl in the red coat, or remind them that every time they try to hide something it comes back to bite them in the ass. I recently started watching Vampire Diaries, never seen it before we started with season 1. What is it with me and young adult shows? I think this makes me a loser...I make up for it with Revenge, Law and Order SVU and The Big Bang Theory.

  3. i like american horror story a whole lot. I haven't gotten into the others as i prefer my trash tv in the form of food network.

  4. It's probably not a good sign that the ones that don't rot your brain are the ones I don't watch.

  5. Bravo will take over your LIFE. Every show is like a train wreck, I can't look away!

  6. ugh, i couldn't get past the 5th episode of PLL because all those girls are fucktards and the acting was awful.

    i'm struggling with true blood because of all the bullshit subplots (hello, they need to figure out what to do with alcide already - either he hooks up with sookie or turns bad but none of this wishy-washy bullshit and they can kill off arlene, sam and that blond waitress chick already...they do nothing but take time away from the vampire prison).

    i cannot WAIT for 24 again! when i first started watching it, we were in the middle of moving into our new house on halloween night and the ONLY thing that was set up was a single stool and our tv and i sat there on that stool for hours while the doorbell rang with kids trick or treating and i was all "NOT NOW, YOU LITTLE SHITS! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WATCHING 24?!" and totally ignored the fuck out of them. i'm not sorry about that either!

    1. OMG I KNOW PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. but i must be some sort of masochist because i just keep watching and then i hate myself afterwards.

      24 will be my redemption though. that's for DAMN SURE.

  7. Give me Bravo!!!!!! I love every single show on there. Ashley on the Princesses was SO dramatic on the finale!! Love Walking Dead too!

  8. yes to all things Bravo. gah, Andy Cohen can do no wrong!

  9. I love you because literally you're my crack spirit guide/soul mate/long lost skinny twin. Also because when we get together it's gonna be a whole lot of, YAY, I LOVE YOU - now let's just lay down and watch some Bravo.

  10. Fuck yeah, grandma- couch potatoes unite! My mom told me when I was a baby she would put me in my carseat and straight up park my ass in front of the tv. and that's where I've been for the past 23 yrs. Cheers.

  11. I love tv. But I just can't with pll. And I forget that I even have bravo because I'm used to being the poor kid with no good tv networks but MTV; if that's even good. But walking dead, true blood, and ahs...I will come and watch and never move with you. Yes yes I will.

  12. uhhhh HELLO!
    <----- watches PLL religiously!!! duh!

    and I can't wait for AHS and The Walking Dead.

    All the other shows... meh.

  13. I quit the Bravo, I did I did.

    GLOWING FAIRY SEX. Why WHY WHY. We've already had this conversation but I'm so glad there is only 2 episodes left and Breaking Bad is starting and my real life can begin again.

    BABY DRAGON. I'm not even sorry for spewing caps all over this comment.

    I fell behind on The Walking Dead 1.5 seasons ago. Justin is reading the comics so I told him he has to start it over with me.

    And finally, you do read a lot of books so shut your mouth.

  14. 24 is the BEST show I think. And that Jack Bauer meem made me laugh! So true!

  15. SHANNON! Greg and I are currently re-watching every season of 24 and it is the best life decision I have ever made.
    I can't wait for it to come back so I can have new dirty fantasy's about Jack Bauer.
    The show that is ruining my life? Breaking Bad, it's my fucking addiction. I can't wait for it to be over so I can be free.

  16. i wish that we were allowed to take brain sick days. like hey, today my brain just isnt working. and it would be totally fine. i just had to throw that out there.

  17. I'm such a victim of the TV trap only made worse because I work in an office where everyone watches shows on their computers. I realized that my television consumption had hit an all time high when my best friend and I were discussing the lives of characters as if they were real people.

    1. i'm so glad there's someone else out there that has no shame in the tv game.


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