Monday, August 5

tons of dick stuff

i punished myself this weekend.  like over and over and over again.
it was just all the excitement of having not seen nikki in like over three years and then also loving all the dick stuff that caused things to get so out of control.  considering i was so far away from all the chicks my hands were tied in terms of doing lots of local planning.  but what i COULD do was clean house when it came to offensive dick paraphernalia and have it all shipped to nikki's soon-to-be sister and also construct her a tutu and hand-sew a bunch of dicks to it.  because you know - that's totally normal.

i took the bus to minneapolis at 2am on friday morning.  i'm actually shocked i made it on time and also shocked they let me on the bus because i noticed as i sat there waiting to board that the date on my ticket said august 1st and when i checked my phone told me it was august 2nd.  so naturally i just risked it and thankfully they let me on because i certainly didn't want to have to go all the way back home and buy another ticket just so that i could make it to the bachelorette party.  so after a stressful trek to the bus stop i managed to mix myself a cocktail in the bathroom of the moving bus which, might i say, is more difficult than one would think and then tweet the night away until nikki picked me up at the bus station at 8am.

i finally got to meet her puppy dog - trixie - who is obviously just too cute for words.

the majority of the day we spent day-drinking and cleaning her house in a half-assed manner and then passing out early because DUH the next day was going to be terrible.
and terrible it was.

and there you have it.
i don't have the wherewithal to write anything else at this point in time.
i'm just living in a haze where my thoughts are just jumbled together and i can barely form coherent sentences.
side note - that dick tutu took me like six hours to make.  totally worth.

and naturally - shitler did this to mac when i brought home the balls.

and naturally it's time to link up with sami.
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  1. DICKS EVERYWHERE. This did not disappoint.

  2. Haha! The title alone made me want to read more! Looks like a wil weekend! And your puppy is soooo cute!

  3. THE ICE LUGE. I dare say you outdicked a dick party we threw in vegas this year. You sure did. You dick-lover you.

  4. i thought there would be more of Mac's dick tbf.

  5. classic dickfest.

    p.s. long hair don't care. and i miss you

  6. Is that a dick ice luge?! You are my hero

  7. ...and a dick dick here, and a dick dick there, errrywhere a dick dick. so funny!

    i esp love that dick drink ice sculpture thing.

    1. OK it's only one-time use though.
      so now i have to buy more for personal use at home.

  8. I knew it would pay off to read this before anyone else made it into the office this morning.

    Also, all I can think of now is the 'Boy With Balls On Face' episode of South Park. Thanks for that one, Mac.

  9. you look really pretty with testies on your face.

  10. That's the most dick paraphernalia I've seen in one place, ever. More than the porn store. You must have bought out 3 porn stores.

  11. All of the dicks!! At one bach party we had to carve dicks out of cucumbers. That was fun.

  12. LOL. That is so much DICK. I remember those days ;) love these pics omg hahahah

  13. lol I don't think Mac looks too pleased with the balls on his face.


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