Friday, July 26

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so like maybe it's friday.  and maybe i'm excited because hello i just have to work tonight and then i get to go cruising down a river all day tomorrow and just get shit drunk.  and i just want to do that all the time.  so maybe we should all just retire and pool our money together to buy some sort of house boat with a giant hot tub and a hot captain and first mate that will just navigate the waters for us while we pop bottles.

BUT ANYWAY we can get to planning more of that later.  in the mean time we high-five things, pay homage to all the big booty hoes of the world, and watch videos on repeat.
1// i'm not even going to apologize for posting that picture.  because in my defense if i had to suffer through it then so do all of you.  because shitler not only sent it to me when i was at the gym causing me to almost fall off the treadmill but he also posted it on facebook, tagged me in it, and captioned it with "someone's excited for mommy to get home."  we suffer together blog friends.

2// speaking of the gym.  i went three times.  hated each of those three times.  i hope in the future there will be the type of technology that allows people to diet and exercise on someone else's behalf and then that lazy person that's not doing anything will just reap all the benefits.  in a perfect world, right?

3// if someone tells you to roast corn and then mix it with goat cheese and then put it into quesadilla form and top it with green onions and salsa verde - fucking do it.

4// all signs point to a healthy and joyful relationship.

5// i've said before that mac is freakishly obsessed with me.  which, in turn, annoys shitler because basically whenever i'm around it's as though shitler isn't even on mac's radar.  i think this is shitler possibly saying "WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?"

i'm not going to reveal the amount of times i've re-watched techno jeep but i've spent an obscene amount of time mentally drafting my techno jeep team.

i wanted to go back into my high school music vault for a song that would make my parents proud.
plus who doesn't want free lap dances and who doesn't love n.e.r.d.?
let the backing up of my azz begin.  holler back whit.
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  1. Not the Rocket... Bubba's hangs out on most occasions as well.

  2. It's really refreshing to meet someone else who is in a relationship where you're just mean to each other.

    Also, I've seen it about five times by now, but that picture of Mac still upsets me.

    The worst was when I accidentally hit the "discover" tab on Twitter on my phone and BAM. Mac penis in my face.

  3. AHHHH you need to watch this skit by Amy Schumer. She basically did a skit about a variation of what you just said, someone else works out for you.... and you sleep through it. If that existed, Id be RIPPED.

  4. Aww you've got a little Chester the molester too. Seriously brilliant idea with the house boat you're a genius

  5. What kind of watch is that? I need to exercise so I can eat that corn amazingness.

  6. Your relationship is the fairytale I want to be in.

  7. I don't know what techno jeep is and my phone won't let me watch the video aghhhhhhj

  8. Oh my god, I died with the first photo. If I wasn't fully awake before, I most definitely am now.

    1. he just needs to put that thing away. ACK.

  9. OMG picture #1 .... I am DYYYYYYYING!

  10. I AM WITH YOU.

    I worked out twice this week, which is not good enough apparently you goddamned overachiever.

  11. #1. I once posted a similar photo of my dog not even realizing the red rocket was in view and about 750 people commented on it like little prevs. dogs just get worked up from time to time.
    #2. that exists. there was an SNL bit all about it, where someone came and strapped you to their body while you were sleeping and did a work out for you. I spent at least three minutes looking for the video for you but can't find it.
    #3. I want that shit right now.

  12. omg, shitler would! bahahahaa. I probably would have fallen off the treadmill right there with you.

  13. hahahah omg!! Your relationship sounds alot like mine.. like why do they insist on telling us oh ya cuz that one time they didnt tell us we freaked out! & red rockets are always fun!!
    Happy Monday

  14. I love you and Shitler. I hope that one day my relationship is as verbally abusive as yours. (It's getting close)


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