HI HI HIYA.
ten points to you and i'll mail you snack packs if you guess what movie that came from.
clue: it's ben stiller's best work. hands down.
i thought about calling in sick this morning because i'm a lazy piece of shit.
but then i remembered that it's a goddamn short work week and i managed to muster up the strength to, you know, do what's expected of me and go to my job.
these weekend recaps with sami feel foreign to me. as my weekend is usually just a pile of shit.
but we're going to go ahead and give it a whirl.
so friday was the two year anniversary of my grandma dying.
is that considered an anniversary? do anniversaries have to be un-depressed in order to qualify as an anniversary? i'm going to go with no because i'm pretty sure there are plenty of unhappily married couples that begrudgingly hate-celebrate the date of their marital union.
so yes it was the two year anniversary of my grandma's death. and of course my mom and her six brothers and sisters were a tad melancholy. i mean - their mom was a really neat lady.
fun fact - a couple month's back it was my dead grandma's birthday so the whole family went out for pizza and then they brought out a birthday cake FOR MY DEAD GRANDMA.
i had to refrain from commenting. and i'm still confused.
|a little throw back - shitler doing what he does best and harassing people.|
BUT ANYWAY. enough with depressing death-related things.
because out of the blue a friend stopped in at work, dropped off a stuffed animal, and instructed me to take pictures of it and post it all over the internet.
so obviously i did. because duh.
woke up and unknowingly made the worse mistake of my life.
i happened to see people on the twat talking about how old navy was having $1 flip flop day and in trying to be like slightly ahead of the wedding game decided to head to the hellish place that houses old navy in my neck of the woods (aka the mall) and pick a bunch up.
you know that scene in mean girls when all the girls start fighting?
that's almost exactly how it was. except on a lesser scale. and people weren't physically harming one another.
except people were INSANE. as in death-gripping armfuls of $1 flip flops just scurrying around the store in spite of the old navy employee with the megaphone that kept yelling "LADIES - THERE IS A 5 LIMIT FLIP FLOP PER PERSON." and then there was me that was on the verge of entering full-on melt down mode because it's like my worst nightmare. i swear these were like crack flip flops the way these women were carrying on.
but don't worry kids - i got my five pair and then had the luxury of waiting in the half-hour line that snaked around the store in order to fucking check-out. and all of this for a total of $5.25 and i'm officially never leaving the house again.
i did the unthinkable. and decided to clean the house.
have you ever looked at your disaster area of a house and known that if you actually had kids that child protective services would have for sure taken them away in light of the state of emergency that is your home? but then your house is also so very terribly awful that you can't help but just throw your hands up because you're exhausted just thinking about all the effort it's going to take to clean that shit hole that you live in? oh - just me? good.
so i did it. i hate-cleaned like half the house. because after i had shitler pull out the refrigerator and ended up having to get on my hands and knees and hack at some godawful stain with a butter knife i could no longer go on.
this was me:
except i just wanted wine. of which i discovered that i was out of.
and then a part of me died.
because all that was left in the house was korbel and coke.
and upon drinking it i realized i was officially an eighty-year-old-man.
and then it was like all was right in the world.
a video. because shitler loves him the oldies.