1// look. get drunk around me and you'll end up with a fancy pen tattoo. i'm basically an artist.
2// someone wanted to take their leftovers home. and by leftovers he means one lone tomato and a piece of droopy lettuce.
3// it's embarrassing when you get excited over the fact that you were given "maybe you touched your genitals" hand sanitizer and then you watch a shameful amount of real housewives of orange county reruns that you've already seen a kajillion times and squeal in glee when you realize you have the same hand sanitizer that heather gave to tamra.
4// operation not be a fatass was in full effect this week and i hated every fucking minute of it. working out is stupid and i just need immediate results like yesterday. i want to do the least amount of work and have the best possible outcome which is probably what makes me so american. #FACE
and lastly because of the half day and the boozing and the general loving of life i'm especially excited to be backing dat azz up courtesy of whit-zizzle. so maybe let's get our grind on and you remember when lil wayne sang about how he let her l-l-lick him like a lollipop.