Wednesday, February 5

birthday baby

i'm sure everyone has seen that video about the little girl who gets the news that she's getting a baby brother.
if you haven't then just click here.  i would embed it but it won't let me.  which is cool.

but i digress.  it's hilarious.  and she is just not having it.
which is how i like to picture my reaction when i was told i was getting a baby brother.
another one.
i wrote the middle child a birthday dedication.  you can read it here.

but anyway - you're the baby.
matthew.  it's your sister, shannon.  
or shmo as you still insist on calling me (by the way i think you're the only one that still does).
but anyway - it's your birthday.  you're still seven years younger than i am and i'm still a tad bitter that i didn't get a sister.  i mean - i already had nickolas so it would it have killed you to have a vagina?  
whatever - i never get what i want.  i realize that i have to keep things semi-PG considering you're on track to be a cop.  so let's attempt a birthday dedication to you.

here's the three of us.

you're the one with the arrow pointing at you (in case you didn't know).  it's cute that you're the youngest but now you're the tallest out of everyone.  including our father.  remember when you used to live in that one room upstairs?  the one closest to mom and dad's room?  but then you went to college and mom turned it into a black hole of a craft room and now it's filled with a gazillion stamps from when she used to make her own cards for all sorts of occasions?  do you remember when we took this picture of you?

you look dead.  and also - that's not even our dog.
that shit is hilarious.

but hot damn did we used to be cute.  hashtag am i right?

remember how you used to work at that old folk's home with me?  first they made you dig holes and then they let you be a pretend waiter at the old people's lunch.  but then you got a job at a real restaurant as a busboy and sometimes your big sister would show up hammered and make you pretend to act like you were serving me drinks?

anyway - you're the baby.
we have things in common.  like our middle names meaning something (ahem sorry nickolas).
matthew louis and shannon rose 4 life.

i can never remember if i'm the only one that never got an underage drinking ticket?
i mean - you definitely didn't because you didn't drink till you were 21.

but really you just crack me up.  you listen to underground rap music (which i still don't even know what that means) and love saying things like "gangsta cookies" and "know what i'm sayin."

your wardrobe is questionable.

but you're acceptable for the sister i never got.
shitler likes you too.

happy birthday foo.
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  1. "That's not even our dog" < I died. & underground rap music? I must look into this.

  2. haha this is great! You and everyone around you are too cute!

  3. Whose dog was it and what are Gangsta cookies?! Too funny!

  4. we all know how hot i think you're brother is, but now you're just shoving it in my face.


    happy birthday, asshole by association.

    1. thank god they're both over 18 so that your lustful ways aren't weird/illegal.

  5. Haha cute tribute to your bro and a Happy Birthday to him :D

  6. This might be one of my favourite birthday posts, ever.
    Happy Birthday to your non-sister little brother.

  7. So I just watched 30 minutes of gender revel videos and I blame you!
    Love your blog you make me laugh so hard I nearly pee.


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