Thursday, November 1

Coffee Talk Installment 8

exciting stuff today kids!  it's coffee talk time with natalie.
PLUS i'm co-hosting and yours truly came up with the questions.

i know - i'm basically the most awesome person you've ever encountered.

Coffee Talk with Natalie Blair

1. if you could punch any celebrity in the face who would it be and why?
eva longoria and shaun white.  fuck them both.

eva because she annoys the ever-living shit out of me.  she can take her stupid desperate house-wife bullshit, her tony parker divorce, and her friendship with mario lopez and cram it up her ass.  for whatever reason she has a face and a personality that makes me want to rip out her hair and then make her eat it.

shaun white because HELLO THAT'S OBVIOUS.  it's shaun white and his hair and his wannabe hippie shit.  i've never had a bigger compulsion then my need to take a fucking razor to his head and then punch him in the face.

2. if you could go streaking anywhere and get away with it - where would you do it?
ok, i would warm up to a major streaking-fest by streaking through the homes of my friends.  chances are they probably wouldn't call the cops and this way i could work on timing, performance, and technique.  plus, the practice rounds would help me increase my speed and enable me to pull off something bigger and better.  then i would move on to streaking through my local grocery store that i frequent often.  they see me often enough so it's semi-personal but also public enough to really put myself out there (literally).  my master-piece would be the super bowl.  preferably when the packers are in it.  then i wildly run naked circles around aaron rodgers, jordy nelson, and clay matthews.

3. what's more important to a relationship: common values or commonalities (like tastes in music, interests, etc.)?
i would like to think that pretty much anyone can be together.  i mean if you find out that the person you're married to believes in being a serial killer - deal breaker (unless your'e married to dexter).  if the person you're with likes nickleback - also a deal breaker.  little things like differences in common values and commonalities shouldn't keep people apart.  in fact, if you're truly meant to be with one another then a lack of common values or commonalities shouldn't matter at all.
except i'm totally serious about the nickelback thing.  that's always a deal breaker.

4. would you rather be insane in a functional society or one of the people running a dysfunctional society?
i like to think that we all have to be a little insane in order to exist in the type of world we live in nowadays.
but i would definitely choose running a dysfunctional society.  like tyrant-style.  but i only want certain types of dysfunction.
so if i could choose i would pick these types of crazy:

i just think it would be easy to placate their particular type of crazy with m&m's and religious literature.

but if it were a world full of britneys?  no thank you.  there's no rhyme or reason to her dysfunction and i don't feel like i could maintain or plan for her next psychotic breakdown.

who are we kidding - it looks like she's planning some sort of mass insanity exodus.

5. what's your favorite type of pickle?  dill?  bread 'n butter?  spicy?
dill.  all day.every day.
don't even talk to me about those kinds.  #yak
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  1. Fix your font fucker. Can't see it!

    Shaun White is a fucking ruhtard and a ginger. I don't like gingers. They freak me out. Like how clowns freak out people....

    Ok, your answers are way better than mine!!!!! And I am super jealous! But they sure are funny as fuck!

    Love you!

  2. I see we share a serious disdain for Nickleback. Cool.

  3. FUCK YOU. I love Nickelback and if my husband wants to fuck me, he has to come along to the concerts and pretend he is not in hell.

    1. Nickelback sucks Joyce - Seriously.


  5. Oh, yeah. I definitely try to make my true feelings regarding Nickelback known up front. That way, a guy has the opportunity to hide his stash of douchebaggery before I have the chance to snap judge his face and run away.

  6. Ugh! Nickelback is NEVER an option. I'd rather gouge my eye out.
    Your answers are hilarious!

  7. Mel Gibson is one of the douches on my punch list. I'm a female of some Yiddish descent and I can't accept antiSemitism OR domestic violence. Domestic violence conviction/guilty plea/no contest plea = permanent shit list, in my book.

  8. Nickleback is serious grounds for breakup in my opinion.

  9. You, my friend, are fucking hysterical.

  10. Ahhhhh poor Eva. I think she's hot, and I would have sex with her, if I could.

    You're right about Shaun (who spells it that way?? pft.). Gingers are scary scary things...

    Ahhh The Packers... I remember when they won the superbowl when I was little little, and I totally won like $30. I was stoked.

  11. @adrienne - HA. oh eva. i don't know what it is that annoys me so much.

    AND - the packers won the super bowl again a couple of years ago. soooo we're awesome.


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