Tuesday, December 4

eternal sleep partners

sleeping arrangements with your significant other?
it's like a battle field.
there are things you like, things you don't like, and things you would murder over if your love person did them while you were trying to sleep.

shitler and i are no exceptions.
these are our top three sleep terms:

1. the koala - in which you cling to the other person like your life fucking depends on it leaving them very little room to move or even breathe.
2. the ninety - in which you sleep on your side and jut your leg out like a horizontal flamingo and cram said leg into the other person's spine.
3. the starfish - in which you lay; legs out, arms out in the most obnoxious way possible limiting your sleep partner's ability to maintain any bed residence.

shitler and are two of the most opposite sleepers you will ever meet.
i like to be bundled in sweatshirts and blankets.
and it's not uncommon for me to hear this from shitler on any given night: 
"well, the boxers are comin' off."
and then he will still sleep with one leg out of the covers and a fan blowing on his face.

usually my obnoxious nature will lead me to koala him in my bundled up condition.  
then i will try and ninety him and he will have a conniption fit.

my sheer high body temperature caused these words to spew from his mouth the other night:

"you're hot"
"you heat me up."
"you're hot as fuck."

and then this:

"it's hard for me to say that without making you sound like a fucking goddess."

uhhhh - i'm not?

i guess this doesn't happen to goddesses. sleep freaks circa 2006.
also - i've been informed that i snore when i drunk-sleep.

do you have any unique sleep terms?

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  1. holy fuck...

    I will be sending you a video of Bill snoring the other night. Oh yes. That shit will be going on the blog tomorrow. You just totally inspired me!

  2. HA - you are a goddess. You area all sorts of hot. I'm just like you, I like being curled up in blankets - hmmmmm seems so amazing. But I also koala Ryan. We'd sleep together like amazingly.

  3. LMAO!

    omg so so so true! such a battle field!! but in the end ...who usually always wins? i know I do!! LoL


  4. I'm a bundled up koala sleeper myself. The only thing that truly pisses me off is blanket thievery. If you are a tossing, turning, blanket thief, I'm kicking you to the curb.

  5. That's a picture I would certainly frame! For real.. haha! I wish you were in Texas man

  6. BAHAHAHA....I can relate, especially the part about the horizontal flamingo!!!

  7. umm yes, my husband it a total koala and I too am totally HOT (in both sense of the word) and it makes me crazy! GET.AWAY.FROM.ME

    Joni Mitchell, YES!


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