Friday, January 4

high five 4 friday

does anyone feel like they're living in some sort of alternate work universe?
where we only have to work a tiny amount of days in the work week?
and who is having panic attacks about the fact that next week is an entire, actual work week?

join the club.
but for the moment - it's friday and that deserves a high five with lauren.

1. i had my annual lady parts exam the other day.  i know - HOW EXCITING.
question for everyone.
after the vaginal exam does your doctor cram their fingers in your anal canal?
because every single one of my doctors has.  and it's left me walking funny for a week.
so naturally, i usually felt like this going in:


concerned face of dread
so this last time i had a new doctor and i was all "uhhh, so the ass thing?  you know, the part where you put your fingers in my ass for whatever fucking reason, can we not do that this time?"
and she was all "oh, i don't do that till you're fifty."
and i was all "say whaaaaaaaaaat?"
and then i was like:


and apparently there is a legit reason for their fingers being in your ass.
like checking to make sure that your lady organs are in the proper place.
but i don't care.
i don't like it.
knock it off.

2. SPARKLY JACKET.  
it was one of those jackets from kohls that was originally like $125 but then i bought it post-holiday season and i got it for $12.
so suck it kohls.
kidding.  i love you kohls.


3. pictures of puppies make me want to die they're so fucking cute.


4. this series.  buy it.  buy the whole thing and then let's obsess about it together.
it's totally whacked and a little bit juvenile.  but who doesn't need that once in awhile?


5. whose getting me this?  on the real.




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25 comments

  1. A wine purse?? Where do I find this magical piece of wizardry??

    And that puppy. (sigh) can I have him?

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  2. That sparkly jacket is amazeballz! and may I add it goes wonderfully with your wine tote!
    put two fingers up your ass and tahdah! and you are ready to roll!

    bring it!
    AndiePants

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  3. Dude. I have never had one of my gynos stick their fingers anywhere in my ass. Thats the no-go-zone for me.

    LMAO... but your photos are making me die from laughter over here.

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  4. remind me to never get a lady exam in your part of town. that is whack, and it's never happened to me. now get me my damn wine pouch, stat!

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  5. Hahah love the first pic! Happy Friday cutie linked you up to FFF

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  6. A wine purse? That is awesome!

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  7. #1...omg. Never ever happened to me. If it did, I think I would have roundhouse kicked the dr...

    If you had a wine purse you could bring it with you next time? PS - Have you seen the wine bra?

    Happy Friday!

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    Replies
    1. OMG. what? a WINE PURSE. i would be 100% for apt to wear a bra if i had one.
      and ya, the backdoor doctor visit is practically the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

      Delete
  8. Oh my baby jesus. If my gyno put her finger in my ass I would DIE. That has NEVER happened to me. You are a brave, brave woman. Also, I will definitely be reading that book in the near future. You're awesome.

    MacKensie
    mackensieg.blogspot.com

    PS: Kate Nash IS the shit!! :D

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  9. i once complained about the regular exam and the doctor said they could do it anally instead... i never ever complained again.

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  10. Hey! We have something in common! We get our vag examined around the same time of the year!! Bahahah. And the only time I got a finger in the no no zone, was my very first pap when I was 16... Yeah. By my FAMILY DOCTOR. WHO IS OLD AS DIRT. I don't think I ever went back, there was no warning... Rude, right?

    Kohl's, oh Kohl's... I loved it when I worked there... But now, since living in Germany and they take for fucking ever to send me my good shit. They're the devil.

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  11. So. I can barely type from laughing so hard. Seriously dying.

    And then I see the photo of the puppy and my laughing instantly changes to awwes. They get me every time. puppys. they are my weakness.

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    Replies
    1. that's basically my life!!
      like constant LOL LOL LOL LOL because everything is ridiculous.

      and then BAM - a puppy.

      Delete
  12. Hey! I am stopping by from the blog hop today on Lauren's blog! Great blog, I am your newest follower. IF you get a chance please stop by my blog and follow me back! Also, feel free to enter in the giveaway that just started today on my blog! IT is got a gorgeous bangle set. Have a great day!

    ~Chelsee @ Southern Beauty Guide
    http://southernbeautyguide.blogspot.com/

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  13. I think we've established that you're one of the very unfortunate few who has had their gyno's finger... there. Never happened to me.

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  14. uh, are you sure you were in a doctor's office and not passed out behind a bar? :D
    because that shit has never happened to me. we do not have prostate glands! please don't tell me this is something else i have to look forward too...being poked and prodded in my vagine is enough but to have my brown-eye fingered too? that ain't cool.

    btw, those puppy pics are adorbs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WAIT. so you're not supposed to get gynecological exams from a man dressed in a trench coat operating out of the trunk of his car?

      Delete
  15. The finger test was a hot topic among the ladies during high school. Apparently everyone's doctors did this but mine. I've had like 5 different gynos since then and still haven't had the pleasure (thank the lord baby jeebus).

    The wine satchel - DOING IT!

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  16. I obviously need a wine purse and a sequin jacket, asap. Then I'll be really cool.
    I cannot even handle your gyno story. Cannot even fully accept it right now. That has never happened to me, thank goodness.

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  17. I'm in panic mode already about a FULL work week. Love everything about this post, especially the wine purse...obviously. Might NEED it to get through next week. Prob frowned upon in a middle school setting....or most settings. Bummer....

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  18. Yeah... that lube they use is also lame sauce! It'smore than likely imported from India. I'm diggin' that first picture of there! and great book suggestion!

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  19. Oh my word that puppy is cute! I'm off to try to turn Sherman back into a choc lab pup. There is just nothing better. Or maybe there is ... $12 down from $125?!

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  20. #1 - OMG. They have never done that to me! I would be freaking out!

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  21. No. 1 ... WTF! I have never had that done. Ugh!

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