Wednesday, January 9

is tuna a synonym for vagina?

it is, isn't it?
i swear this will make sense.
because i work at a sushi restaurant.
and i just had my vagina checked out last week.  BY A DOCTOR.

and then an awkward moment occurred.  

as in that awkward moment when you're working at the restaurant and you go up to your new table, make eye contact with the lady that's dining with her family, and then realize it's your gynecologist.

because that 100% happened last night.

i'm not sure if i'm fresh in her mind.  
because i can only imagine that she sees like tons of vaginas every day.
and maybe since i'm not in the proper spread-eagle-feet-in-the-stirrups 
gyno position is why she didn't recognize me.

but that's probably for the best.
because how do you explain that to your husband and children?
"kids.  hunny.  mommy's fingers have been inside the nice waitress.  can you pass the california roll?"

in other news.  my phone reminded me that i'll be riding the crimson wave soon.

that phrase is both hilarious and terrifying.

post signature


  1. OMG!!!! This is freaking hysterical and I really can't believe this actually happened to someone. I've never even thought about this before but now I will probably worry daily that I will run into my pootietang doc at Walmart or something. GAHHHH!

  2. hahaha! when i was pregnant and near the end of my pregnancy, my obgyn did some kind of routine swab up my starfish... and the next day i saw him behind me grabbing lunch at the same restaurant. i nearly died but had to say hello. all the while he was talking, i kept thinking: you just stuck a giant qtip up my ass yesterday! i was so flustered i forgot what i wanted to order.

    1. do you know what he was having for lunch? i couldn't help but crack up when my gyno was ordering raw fish for her meal.

  3. haha If it makes you feel better, I go to church with my gyno and see her almost weekly! Super awkward!

  4. "kids. hunny. mommy's fingers have been inside the nice waitress. can you pass the california roll?"

    I fuckin lost it.... BAHA

  5. wait wait wait.... pootietang? is that girl for real??? she calls her TWAT A POOTIETANG!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Haaa gross... Sushi, vaginas, tuna and fingers. I can only imagine your facial expression when you realized you were her server. Priceless!

  7. holy hell, my face would have been so red :/ ps: you are one funny lady :)

  8. Fun story time: When I was in High School a local police officer caught me and my then-boyfriend getting busy in his car. The guy came into the place I worked the next day. I felt like saying "hey, you've totally seen my naked ass, can I get you something to drink?"

  9. That is the most hilarious and horrible reminder phrase, all in one. Impressive. And super creepy about the gyno showing up, there's just no good way to explain that one.

  10. hahahahaha this is amazing. I can't even handle it. I just got off work where I serve people sushi and I would die if my gyno came in right after an appointment.. hilarious.

  11. I'm pretty sure you win Most Awkward Encounter of the Week.
    I'm jealous my period app isn't as witty as yours.


leave a comment.
you know you want to.

Back to Top
Copyright © gin and bare it: is tuna a synonym for vagina?