because i have to work. all day. and then also tonight.
and then there's a work meeting tomorrow. and then i want to get my vagina waxed.
and then i have to go back to work at night. so it's not really much of a weekend.
unless you count blackout sunday (as whitney calls it) as the one day of the weekend where i will perhaps get beat up drunk and then be a piece of shit hangover mess on monday. but only time will tell.
but onto high-fiving and backing up asses.
1. why do i continually convince myself that piercing things on my body is fun? like ok ear cartilage that hurts.
but i do it anyway. the last time i pierced my ear cartilage like eight years ago in college i might have either been hungover and/or still drunk because i ended up almost bleeding out all over my white sweatshirt. and it hurt. fast forward to three years later when i decided to get my nose pierced and that hurt like a bitch too. then fast forward one more year when i woke up hungover and itching to get my nipple pierced and just up and did it and it ended barely hurting at all. but then last night my friend was all "wanna go get poked with me?" and i was like "sure, that sounds like a good time, let's do it." but then there were like four young skanks in front of us getting ears and navels pierced and then some weirdo named chad who kept checking out the minors getting pierced right in front of their moms and me and the friend are like "this is weird and it's making us uncomfortable and we aren't even the parents but oh well. CHAD - SIT DOWN." so then i made the good choice to get my cartilage pierced again.
because apparently eight years and a lot of booze makes you forget that it did hurt the last time. but i strapped in anyway and sure enough it hurt again. and then they were all like "you're white as a ghost and your lips are turning blue. lay down and drink this soda." and then the snarky tattoo guy is all "there's always one." and in my head i want to scream "I SWEAR I'M NOT A PUSSY."
|i wish this picture more accurately captured the dried blood.|
2. i'm going to go ahead and channel last weekend when we attended a birthday party for our neighbor's daughter who is both adorable and a riot. she was affirmative in her NOT wanting to try on any of the clothes she got (who could blame her? that shit is not fun.) and after shitler put together her giant car thing she gave him a modicum of credit when she declared that he "helped a little."
3. after continually seeing blog after blog after blog that contains husband worship i thought that i would give a shout-out to those of us ladies that are on that certain level that makes us more aware that the sun doesn't, in fact, shine out of the asses of the men in our lives. here's a sample of the communication between me and shitler.
4. i'm going to backtrack again to last friday for a hot minute. because i literally worked from 7am to midnight and then came home and decided the most appropriate thing to do was take shots of vodka by myself because i wanted a buzz and i didn't have the patience to wait for the effects that a drink would have. and then i decided that taking photos with my dog and then frantically cleaning the kitchen would also make sense.
5. lastly - this made me lol. hard.
one more thing.
it's #backthatazzupFriday with whitney.
so let's do it. pour some of your sizzurp out for that guy from D12 that died.
i know - i'm not happy about it either.
but deal with it.