i'm not working this weekend.
so you know what that means? heading northward and binge drinking.
1. guess what? i'm obsessed with baby e. i will yell it from the rooftops and i don't care who knows it. is it weird that she's not mine and i love her this much? weird or not - it's the damn truth. and can you even blame me!?
2. why do pictures of animals that look like they're up in the club getting tipsy crack me up so much? could it be that i have the maturity and sense of humor of someone that isn't an adult? probably.
3. also my freak dog who does this like, easily, every single morning. and if i let him he enjoys drinking from the sink. but i can't allow that in front of shitler.
because then he just gets all up in arms and starts reprimanding me. #lame
4. so i forgot the best news of the week. like the great news of not working this weekend was one thing but shitler's new gun day is easily the best news of the week. shitler's concealed carry license = new gun for shitler. i'm sure that you're wondering why this is such fantastic news. strap in - because i'm about to lay it on the line for you and why it's so amazing for me. concealed carry comes with rules. if you're carrying it means you can't drink. so from here on out i'm going to insist that every place we go that offers alcohol is probably the most dangerous place on earth and that shitler should definitely carry BECAUSE WE'RE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED AND HE NEEDS TO PROTECT ME and then i can get my drink on and have an automatic designated driver/chauffeur. you can for sure leave me a comment telling me how smart i am.
5. my jam. like all day, errrr day. like way too legit to quit. i just blast it and whip my hair back and forth.
so go forth and buy. or download illegally. i really don't care.
also. i need a soldier. #backdatazzup
p.s. can we give it up for weezy pre-sizzurp.
p.p.s. and can we also give it up for the crenshaw shout-out. mainly because i love bring it on.
happy weekending ya'all.
have at least four drinks
and one shot in my honor.
IN THE FIRST HOUR.