Monday, April 22

wrap it up

i think the biggest mistake people make when it comes to monday is expecting that they may not be as terrible as their nature suggests.
but they are.  mondays are awful
the trick to dealing with them is to go into any given monday with extremely low expectations.  and by low, i mean rock-fucking-bottom.  by doing so, you ensure at a least a sliver of hope on these most godforsaken of days.

here's what my weekend looked like:
friday i ate like four thousand pounds of sushi.
and it also dawned on me that maybe my fitness pal should have the "i fucked up" option when you're logging a terrible meal that basically wrecks any diet you're attempting to be on.

saturday i made more poor food choices.  like tacos, chips and salsa, cheesy bread, pizza, buttery popcorn, and two family sized bottles of wine with wendalyn lou.  turns out mac-dizzle hates uncle rico something fierce.  and also that cabin in the woods is one of the worst movies i've seen in my entire life but we hate-watched anyway out of sheer confusion and curiosity.  
murphy lee at least loved uncle rico.
sunday came and we threw caution and our diets to the wind and crammed olive garden and drinks in our faces.  it's like you reach that point where you realize you've done so much damage to whatever good you were trying to do in the diet category that you start thinking "welp, go big or go home.  and yes i will have another breadstick please and thank you."

and it's not that i'm thrilled that the weekend ended but i couldn't have asked for a better one consider the mother of dragons fucking shut shit down on game of thrones.  plus - shitler watched it for the first time and to say that he was disappointed would be an understatement.  i've done my damnedest to bait him into watching it.  i'm all "you should definitely watch.  there's boobs, sex, prostitutes, blood, guts, and battles."  turns out the first episode he watched had no boobs and no sex. 
but he did get to hang out with this diaper-clad baby.

i've also decided to do all my binge drinking on friday.
i can't hack it on sundays when i've over-served myself on saturday night and basically need the entire last day of the weekend to recover.  i just can't do it.  and yes - i know i'm being a huge vagina.

also - here's what my saturday looked like.  a more in depth look.
also - i'm not in love with any of what i've written.  so - sorry.
also - the title of this post made me think of condoms so i've just spent an unnecessary amount of time reading the hilarious ways you can say "wear a condom."

side note - it's prom season.  which means i've entered the seventh circle of hell in the serving world. 
stay tuned for that gem.

Gin and Bare It


  1. I love this post - I get through Monday mornings but listening to great music!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  2. I do the same thing when once I start eating terrible- Keep on eating! And I can't even handle how precious that pup is- diaper and all!

  3. I second the "I fucked up" options. Words can not describe the hell that is trying to log a single meal of like 4,000+ calories on Myfitnesspal. True story. And I don't even care.

    Can we just take a minute to discuss your food pics on Instagram? Please don't post these unless you plan on sharing mmmmkay? You're making me hella hungry over here.

  4. I agree on MFP. I've been on the "I fucked up" option for about 2.5 weeks. And that Olive Garden deliciousness is looking... delicious. Share next time, geez.

  5. bahahaha this sounds like a great weekend

    1. thanks lady.
      it was exhausting. but like i did nothing. so i don't know how that's even possible.

  6. Hi Shannnon, tx for cohosting the GFC!
    I'm now following you on bloglovin', twitter, fb, instagram, pinterest and obviously GFC!
    I hope you'll like to follow me back!

  7. These days I have no motivation for sticking with any diet. Thankfully I'm the primary shopper in the family, so I can purchase stuff less fattening, but still the hubby is my biggest downfall when it comes to sticking to anything.

    New follower from the collective blog hop on BlogLovin, I'd love for you to check my blog out sometime..

    Heather from Mommy Only Has 2 Hands

  8. Found you through the GFC link up. Would love it if you followed me and liked me as well. Vodka Infused Lemonade.

    Check out my blog for a stella & dot giveaway and join me this Thursday April 25 for my link up.


  9. eww prom season. i can only imagine. good idea with the low expectations. i need to do that more in life in general

  10. I immediately thought condoms when I saw your title and then didn't see anything about condoms so I told myself to get my mind outta the gutter and then you mentioned them so it made me feel better :) thanks! And hope you had a better than expected Monday

  11. I'm your newest GFC follower from the “Collective” blog hop - this is my blog if you wanted to follow back:

  12. I'm a new follower from The Collective! BTW, I'm a big fan of MyFitnessPal too and I second the suggested option :)

    Ashley @

    1. it's true. there should just be one big "i fucked up" option.

  13. Give me that sushi now.
    After my weekend, I totally understand where you are coming from with the binge drinking. I was either hungover or drunk the whole time, there was no in-between. So I might need to cool that down a tinge.
    And PS. Who is that dog baby!? I love a dog in a diaper.

  14. i frickin' love you!!! Sushi is just so amazing not to eat a billion pounds of it!!! & just say screw the up & drink up!! Wait that's how I walked off my cruise 10 lbs heaviest & now gotta lose even more weight to fit into my clothes? FML! & totally thought you would mention something like you wrapped a bunch of things in condoms or made a bouquet of condoms.... but glad you mentioned them at the end!

  15. ooooh jesus. I HATED serving prom kids. In fact, one time I spilled hot ass onion soup on a chick's prom dress. I might have subconsciously done it on purpose...

  16. Hello!

    Thanks for hosting the GFC Hop and I'm a new follower:) Enjoy your evening!

    Lillies & Silk

  17. Rock.fucking.bottom. Genius. True.Genius. Mondays blow.
    Oh and totally thought condom when I read your title.
    Happy I am not the only one with a dirty mind.
    P.S. The only upside to Tuesdays is that you are one day closer to the weekend.

  18. Ooo serving prom goers, I bet that's a dream come true.
    Seriously though, now I'm fucking starving and I want tacos. And chips. And cheese. And alcohol.


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