Tuesday, February 12

danger is my middle name

drunken showering is hands down the most dangerous thing i do.
and also one of my favorites.

showering when i'm drunk gives me this false sense of attempting to sober up before i reach that critical "i'm going to hurl" moment.  not to mention i think i'm basically the sexiest thing ever when drunken showering as the water is sluicing down my body and i'm belting out celine dion in a voice so terrible i don't think the mutts can even stomach it.

but who on earth is letting me drunk shower?

that shower is wet and slippery and my balance is already questionable when i'm in a sober state of mind.
it's inevitable that i'll slip and fall.
and crack my skull open.
and then, since i've been drinking heavily, my blood will be thin and i'll bleed out.
and it'll look like a goddamn crime scene.

but worst yet - since i'm drunk the chances of me completing any shower tasks are low.
so when someone does discover my naked body it'll be like half-way shaved and covered in soap.
which will mask the smell of booze and/or death.

a throw back photo.

like i probably drunk showered after i tried to molest this girl.
in a friendly way, of course.

what's your favorite thing to do while drunk?

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  1. I like to talk. A lot. It's really bad. And then I start laughing. And it won't stop.

    1. that`s what i do! non-stop talking and REALLY REALLY LOUD

  2. haha awesome. i used to like showering when i was high because the water always turned into glitter and sparkles and made me feel like an angel. it was so trippy

    1. HA - that's perfect.
      honestly - i don't know what entices me so much about drunk showering.
      but it happens.
      like every.single.time.

  3. My favorite thing to do drunk is SHOPPING. When I drunk shop, suddenly I need everything and I come home with some pretty awesomely random shit. I will never forget the one time hubby let me get drunk at dinner before going to the movies. We had like 2 hours before the movie and I wandered the isles of Target aimlessly and talking to everyone. I ended up buying like 5 DVD's.

    It was awesome.

  4. ooh i haven't drunken showered in years. mainly because i hate showering to begin with, and this seems like a possible not so fun activity to do when drunk. but maybe I'd enjoy it??? humm... something to try later.

  5. The last time I drunk showered, it was the following day after heavily drinking, and then I threw up in the shower...

  6. I like to do normal things. Like everything mentioned above, and more. Because life is so much more fun drunk. Suddenly vacuuming is like revolutionary, and talking with friends is MAGICAL. Now I pretty much just want to bath in anything alcoholic.


  7. My personal favorite is getting drunk WHILE showering!

  8. How can you stand it?! I can barely do anything but throw up or pass out, I think I WOULD die if I tried to shower.

  9. Comment on blogs...WHAT. Okay, maybe I'm a little buzzed but I still want free fucking glasses, okay?

    Also, stop drunk showering. Or at least wear a helmet.

  10. apparently my favorite drunk activity is naughty texting. seriously, my phone should NOT be anywhere near me when i've been drinking. also, drunk showering is the bomb, but i actually did fall in the shower and split my head open one time (i was only 10, so i was not drunk, but still), so i have a terrible fear of falling in showers to this day, and drunk showering is not usually a good idea for me. also, i have a difficult time staying upright when i'm sober. so double bad idea.


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